.Walk With Me.

Long interval, maybe it's time for a revival?

2012-02-22T04:44:00.000+08:00

I would like to apologize for the long interval from my last post to a new one. I hope that I can write more in this blog, because don't get me wrong -- I love writing. It's the one thing that I know how to do ever since I was younger. My parents always thought that I would end up being a journalist, instead I read more than write most days, now -- although, I am required to write pages and pages long during law exams. Now, let me tell you -- that is not as satisfying as writing your own freshly thought words, and putting them down on paper or in this case typing it in a blog. :)

Exams are over! Hooray for that! We have 3 weeks break before the new semester starts.

At least, that's what I thought. *sigh* As the exams finishes, our gruelling dance practices starts. Not a very joyful prospect when you think of all the things you can be doing in a 3 week break, instead of coming back to Malacca and stress yourself over the dance routine you have long forgotten since Exam Week started.

So, I will list down some updates that I have yet to post about;

-Cooked at home with friends (Ayam Masak Merah, Teriyaki Chicken w/ Mixed Veggies, Baked Potato)

-Went to the funfair here in Malacca and played darts w/ friends, won 5 bears (small ones!) & we played bumper cars.

-Finally watched Underworld: Awakening

-Finished reading the book by Ally Condie called Matched (awesome book, though a little slow)

-Went to Bunkface Studio in SS15 and watched some friends jammed to new tunes that they created (which was pretty awesome) & hung out w/ childhood friends at Rasta.

-Went to Jaya Jusco to find some things that I need to buy for my room, and helped my friends find what they need for their rooms.

-Thinking of cutting my hair! Maybe tomorrow!

-Found out our choreographer is asking for 10K ; consisting of his payment, costume budget, accessories budget, props, etc. So I am stressing right now. Are you kidding me?

I think I skipped some things. I am too tired right now. I have an early day tomorrow, so I think that's it for now. I'll update more as soon as I can, or if my head haven't burst from all the stress and hectic schedule.

Cant talk, gotta move move move!

2012-02-12T18:23:00.000+08:00

FINAL EXAM!

New ; Old ; Canvas of feelings

2012-02-10T08:44:00.000+08:00

I know, I know. I still haven't been posting. I've been really busy, and again, I am sorry. Some have been asking for new posts, and I said I would write soon. I hope this will keep you company. This is an old post from an old blog, but I thought of posting it here -- today. Mind you, this is at least a few years old. I promise I'll post a new one soon! Until then, enjoy!

If feelings can be captured in a photograph. Or painted on a blank canvas. Wouldn’t it be easier? Or would it just be embarrassing? I tried to figure out how someone can change. Can leave something behind. Something that once made them who they are. Made them complete. It's hard to picture being lost in a world without love. Or guidance. Or is it we only need life and our five senses to make it through the day. It's somehow a puzzle to me. How something so familiar can turn into something so unfamiliar. How can you love today. And not the next day. How can you say that you are in love and then just say I’m not anymore in a matter of hours, minutes, seconds. Someone asked me "Do you believe in love?" It got me thinking. Do I believe in it? I could just barely answer. "If believing in my family means that I believe in love. Then yes." -- "I believe in my friends. So if believing in them makes me believe in love. Then yes." It's all too simple and too matter-of-fact, but it makes sense to me. Maybe it wont to you. But it does to me. If someone tells me I think too much about these things. Then I’d say, yes I do. And there's nothing wrong with it. I’m simply just figuring out if the saying that 'love makes the world go round' is true. If you believe in it too much. It'll poison you. It will tell you to do things that you normally wouldn’t do. Stupid things. Denial. Embrace it when it's in front of you. That feeling. Let it seep into you. But walk away when it's holding a spoonful of rat's poison in front of your face. Walk away. Just walk away, love.

Why do people want to change. For the better. Or for worse. Can they change? How much guilt would you carry if changing hurt other people around you? Will there be any chance of redeeming yourself.. I never thought about it much. About being someone else when you're not. At the end of the day. You are who you are. And even if you had a face lift. Botox inserted into your lips. Contact lenses. Liposuction. Nose job and some boob job, maybe. You are STILL who you are. But growing up. Will that change you? You were this smart-ass kid living your life. Doing things that you're not proud of but you do it anyway because the years are still long. You hang out with your smart-ass friends getting high, drunk and smoked. Fast-forward 3 years ahead. You're suddenly this college kid. You're stuck doing home works instead of doing weeds. Or is it fast forward till you're in your late 20s. You're married with a kid and a husband that can’t find time to come home from work. The point is. You grow up. There's no point in remembering the past. That's you growing up. Trying to find a place in the world. Trying to find answers and eventually stumble onto a path that’ll lead you somewhere. Somewhere. Anywhere. It doesn’t matter.

So do I think people can change? Only a bit, I think. Not everything. You can never change everything, but being in denial about your changes. That makes it more complicated. Like you feel you're toxic to people around you. That's a problem. You push people away. You think that everything is about you. People are saying things about you when they're not even thinking about you. You feel angry and sad. You kick and scream. You push all the drugs that you can find into your bloodstream -- waiting for it to be absorbed -- waiting for it to do its job -- but the end of the day? Another day just passed with you drifting by unnoticed. Is that really what you want?

These feelings inside of you, they are there for reasons we do not know. But they are there because they are meant to be there. The feeling of happiness when you achieve something -- the feeling of sadness when you lose something -- the feeling of anger when something is wronged -- the feeling of determination when you strive for something -- the feeling of completeness when you discover a part of you that you've been searching for? All these things, they are there for a reason. Some people say these things are a sign of weakness. Some people say it's a blessing. You be the judge.

Until the next one.

Brief update!

2012-02-08T17:16:00.000+08:00

I havent been posting! NOOOOO!

:)

I am sorry for the lack of posts that is due to a very packed schedule and daily activities that I could not find time to post anything new.

OK, fine. I was out for karaoke, movies, coffee-dates, cooking dinner with friends and recuperating from hectic dance practices.

I have some photos that I took, that I'd love to upload. I'll upload them soon. It will be probably tonight. After dinner! Zette is cooking spaghetti right now. Since I made Ayam Masak Merah Pedas the day before yesterday, so now it's her turn to cook. WHHEE! The others will be coming soon -- I can’t wait for dinner!

I've been holed up in my room since this morning! I was looking around the internet for any freelance writing jobs. Anyone know any? Something simple, where I will write on a topic and send it. Good pay and flexible. IF anyone do know any, please contact me!

So -- more updates soon!

P/S : Probably be brief updates too, since I am having my finals next week. I have a ton of reading to do. It's no picnic being a law student, no. I love reading, so it's not really a problem but still it's hard work. So, until the next one!

Caramel comes from bees? No?

2012-02-02T14:45:00.000+08:00

When Shima came back from New Zealand, she came back bearing gifts. She gave me a friendship bracelet which is really beautiful, and she brought back a bag filled with Cadbury chocolates and products. The first thing I tried was a type of Licorice. Lets just say, I was so hungry I opened it up right after she handed it to me and popped one into my mouth. It was not small, either. I was so surprised of the taste, that I thought it was a milder type of Hacks sweets. It tasted so weird that I decided to try another one, which looked more promising. I regretted it as soon as I put it in my mouth. Molasses does not taste great. I finished it up just so that it wouldnt be a waste. I mean she brought it back from New Zealand, these things dont come easy, you know. Better savour it, no matter the taste. I was thankful that she even thought of bringing something for us. Well, I was not surprised -- she is a sweetheart after all. That's one of the things why all of us love her.

So to wash the taste off, we decided to taste this. Looked delicious and the combination sounds good. It's marshmallow covered with caramel and chocolate. As you can see it is called Buzz.

While we were eating ( which I took two! ) -- I started to wonder about something.. I mean, look at the cover! What does a bee have anything to do with it? I mean bees doesnt produce chocolate / marshmallow / caramel, right? Or am I missing something? I dont think so.

So the conversation went something like this :

Me : Jap, kenapa ada gambar lebah? Bukan lebah buat madu ke? Caramel dari apa? (Wait, why is there a picture of a bee? Dont bees make honey? Then what's caramel?)

Dome : Memang tak la, takde kena mengena pun. ( No, there's no connection at all, yeah it doesnt make sense.)

With confidence and certainty,

Zette : Caramel tu kan gula hangus *staring ahead* (Cause caramel is burnt sugar)

Everyone looked at her and there goes an awkward moment, until she realized that sugar doesnt come from bees either.

Zette : Ohhhh. Ha ah, gula buat dari tebu. So memang takde kena mengena pun. Haha. Kenapa ada gambar lebah?(Ohhh, yeaahh. Sugar is made from sugarcane. So, there's no connection at all. Haha. Why is there a picture of a bee?)

Me : Sebab tu aku tanya tadi. Apa kaitannya. -____-" (That's what I just asked..)

Excuse her, she was having her blank/blur moments. She wasnt really paying attention. She said she saw bees when she thought about sugar. Haha. She cracks me up all the time. I can always count on my friends to make me laugh.

So help me with this. Do you see what I mean? What's the connection between a rapper bee on a skateboard with what we were eating? Marketing? Why does a rapper bee on a skateboard sells it? Why cant a picture of a marshmallow covered with caramel jumping into chocolate be more effective? Either way, I still ate two because it was delicious! Sorry there weren't pictures of the food itself, since I put it in my mouth faster than you can say 'rapper bee on a skateboard is cool yo!'

Until the next one! Going to go get ready and send Dome to Melaka Central since he's going back to KL && lunch with the girls! Whoot! :D

Nasi Ayam Menangis!

2012-02-01T19:59:00.001+08:00

So ---- SHE'S BACK!

She's been away to New Zealand with her family, so we havent seen her in a while. So, it's good to have everyone finally back in Malacca. First it was just Bella, Dome & I. Then Zette came back, so now Shima is back. So, the Four-Clover Leaf is back together. After she arrived, we went out for a late lunch. We went to this place called Nasi Ayam Menangis in Bachang. I've never been there before, so thought that I should give it a try.

Why is it called Nasi Ayam Menangis, you ask?? Well, it is said that if you eat the 'sambal' or chilli paste, you will cry -- since it's really spicy. It was OK for me, I cant really judge since I usually eat spicy food. They put a jar filled with the 'sambal' and you can eat as much as you like. So, that's a plus point for me. Give it a try! It's just past the Melaka Central (on your right ; Tesco on your left) traffic light, then turn right at the first traffic light. You will see it on your left.

**cant update much, since I am late for dance practice. So, I'll update more soon! Enjoy the photos! :)

P/S : If you're reading this Mot, thank you for the chocolates and the friendship bracelet. I love it! ♡ I love you, more than a love song, baby!

31//1//2012

2012-02-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

It's Supposed-To-Be-Laksa Day!

Since Zette came back from Malacca, we decided to head to Jonker and get some Laksa. Since it's been a while since we've done this -- we decided to get dolled up. She picked the skirt out for me, and I called Bella to wear something nice. So there we were, happily driving by the Laksa place to find a parking -- and disappointed to find out that it's actually CLOSE for today. So, we rounded the next corner and decided to eat -- where else? than -- at Calanthe Art Cafe. Again?? Yes, yet again. I thought of getting the Laksa there, but settled on our all time fav there, Butter Chicken w/ Rice. Zette ordered the Laksa, so you can see what it looks like in the pictures. Joseph, the manager came and gave us some oranges. So yeay, for that.

The day turned out to be a photo-session for all of us, since we got bored. Thought of going to the Laksa place to take some pictures of the food, so you can see them. Oh well, maybe next time. If you are ever in Malacca and you dont know where to go, just comment me, and I'll be glad to guide you to some of the places I know and love. :)

Outfit Of The Day :

♡ Sleeveless tee from My Tee Story by Jonker Gallery ; Maxi Skirt from Bundle in Seremban ; Wedges from Vincci ; Bangles from Diva ; Peacock Necklace (which Zette & I have, yes it's the same :D ) from a vendor in MMU Malacca

If you're wondering what Zette & Bella's OOTD was -- just ask. :)

Until the next one! Tata!

P/S : Cant wait for Shima's arrival tomorrow. We're going to this Nasi Ayam place, where they say -- when you eat there, you tend to cry -- since it's so spicy. Whoot! Gah, I should not eat this much! I cant help it!

&&& Oh yeah, I hate how I look in the photos because I look really tall/big compared to them. -___-"

Bookworm ; Chick Lit ; Lindsey Kelk !

2012-01-31T14:48:00.002+08:00

I got them both from MPH in Subang Parade. Still have another RM100 to go. So, these are the books that I found interesting -- well, in a chick-lit-interesting kind of way. I was waiting for the 'I heart Vegas' since last year, so was really excited to find this one on the shelf. I even held back the urges to buy some other books I found while I was in Malacca. Thought better of it, and decided to wait till I was in KL. So, I first went to POPULAR in Sunway Pyramid, but was disappointed. I didnt even find anything from the author Paige Toon -- other than the ones I already have - let alone anything from Lindsey Kelk. So, decided to postpone going back to Malacca due to personal matters and --well, this.*smiles*

I went to Subang Parade and HOORAY! Found the 'I heart Vegas' book. I was stoked! Except I couldnt find any books from Paige Toon, which the computer lied to me. I searched the MPH books availability and it said there were some books that I wanted there, but it was misleading. So, I picked another one and settled with one from Alexandra Potter. I read 'Me and Mr Darcy' from her before. Wasn't too thrilled, but I loved Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen -- thought of giving the book a try since, who am I kidding? A 21st century Mr Darcy? Who wouldnt want that!

So here are the synopsis for both :

I heart Vegas by Lindsey Kelk

♡ Angela Clark loves her life in New York. She a Brit who's conquered the Big Apple. Unfortunately, she's also a Brit who's lost her job. And when, just a couple of weeks before Christmas, the immigration department gets wind of this, Angela needs to find a new job urgently. Or a husband. And she doesn't think her boyfriend Alex will be keen. A girls' weekend in Vegas with her best friend Jenny seems the perfect way to forget her troubles. From the minute they arrive Angela is swept up in a whirl of cocktails, outrageous outfits, late nights and brushes with the chapel of love. But rather than escaping trouble, Angela is up to her neck in it!. But what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas -- right? With a bonus Angela's Guide to Vegas - the ultimate city break guide!

Calling Romeo by Alexandra Potter

♡ What is the worst thing that could happen to you on Valentine's Day? 1) Getting stood up by your long term boyfriend? 2) Having to spend the evening alone? 3) Being drenched by an idiot driving a sports car?

When all three happen to Juliet on the same night, she reckons her love life cant get any worse. But it's actually about to get a whole lot more complicated.. Because the driver of the sports car is revealed to be her arch business rival. She knows she should stay away. Except it's not that easy. Sykes is determine to sweep her off her feet and away from her boyfriend Will. But is it worth risking everything for? Are they really destined to be star-crossed lovers? Or is Romeo actually a little closer to home?

So here is all of the 'I heart' series! I have all of them and they're really good for light-reading. I didn't thought much of it when I first bought it. Actually I bought the 'I heart Paris' first before the other two. Since, I am really into anything Paris/France-related. One of my wish is to explore the wonders of the place one day. Among the other countries in my list. Loved the Paris book, found out that it's actually a series -- so went to the bookstore and got myself the first one, New York and the second, Hollywood. The characters are very well-written and I love how they're unique in their own way. Yes, I know there are tons of chick lit, nowadays. Trust me, these books are really good if you want something fun to read.

So here's the synopsis for the books in this series :

I Heart New York

♡ It’s official. Angela Clarke is in love — with the most fabulous city in the world. Fleeing her cheating boyfriend and clutching little more than a crumpled bridesmaid dress, a pair of Louboutins and her passport, Angela jumps on a plane, destination – NYC. Holed up in a cute hotel room, Angela gets a New York makeover from her NBF Jenny and a whirlwind tour of the city that never sleeps. Before she knows it, Angela is dating two sexy guys. And, best of all, she gets to write about it in her new blog (Carrie Bradshaw eat your heart out). But it’s one thing telling readers about your romantic dilemmas, it’s another figuring them out for yourself ! Angela has fallen head over heels for the big apple, but does she heart New York more than home?

I Heart Hollywood

♡ Celebs, sunshine and beautiful boys!enough to lead a girl astray? Angela Clark can't believe her luck! she's an English girl living in New York with a dream job at hip magazine The Look and a sexy boyfriend. Her latest assignment takes her to Hollywood to interview hot actor and fellow Brit James Jacobs.Thrown in at the deep end she heads west with best friend Jenny dreaming of Rodeo Drive and Malibu beach. Soon Angela discovers that celebrity life in Hollywood is not all glamour, gloss and sunshine. Despite his lady-killer reputation, the only person who seems genuine is James. Then a paparazzi snaps them in an uncompromising position and suddenly Angela is thrust into the spotlight for all the wrong reasons! Can she convince all those close to her -- especially her boss and her boyfriend -- not to believe everything they read? And will Hollywood ever win Angela's heart?

I Heart Paris (my fav!)
♡ Angela is in the city of love -- but romance is taking a nose-dive! When Angela Clark's boyfriend Alex suggests a trip to Paris at the same time as hip fashion mag Belle asks her to write a piece, she jumps at the chance. But even as she's falling for the joie de vivre of Paris, someone's conspiring to sabotage her big break. And when she spots Alex having a tete-a-tete with his ex in a local bar, Angela's dreams of Parisian passion all start crashing down around her. With London and her old life only a train journey away, Angela can't decide if should stay and face the music or run away home!

Try them, girls! You wont be disappointed. The dynamic between Angela & Alex is -- indescribable. They'll take you on a journey, that might be yours if you're lucky enough :) If so, I envy you. Haha!

Until the next one! BYEE!

Be your own self! Respect!

2012-01-31T12:11:00.000+08:00

There are a few times where I encounter these kinds of situations -- the kind of people who doesnt have their own personal identity that they feel the need to compete with other people at their lives, just so they can have public validation. Sometimes they compete with a lot of different people that they meet in life, or sometimes they just pick one and in turn making that other person's life a miserable one. Mostly, these kinds of people are usually alone, or attached to the girlfriend/boyfriend (if they have any), with no friends. Yes, no friends. How can someone who are always envious with someone else's life have any friends? It's easy -- they dont have any friends that they can actually feel secured about.

OK, this is just something I have an opinion about. If you have this kind of life, then be my guest -- but let me ask you something -- wouldnt it be better if you dont? Wouldnt it be better if you have something you can hold on to and that's yours? That you have your own identity? That you have things that are unique to yourself, and you dont have to constantly chase for other people's opportunities and actually earn your own?

Well, let me tell you something. Having your own thing is better. Really. All I am saying is that being your own person is better than trying to be someone else just because they look like they have everything that life has to offer. If you ask me, no -- they dont have everything that life has to offer. They're just like any other human beings, no one is perfect. Neither are you. So what can we do? Be the best that we can be.

If you've always felt that, "Oh man, he/she has that! I should get that! That looks cool, I should be the one who looks cool instead of him/her" or "maybe if I be more like him/her, people will notice me, so i'll have more people that knows me, popularity upped! yes!" or "oh he/she looks good in that, eff him/her, i'll look better in that, so people will notice me instead of him/her" or "oh he/she has new friends, yeah, i can be friends with them too, add!"
**ignore the enthusiasm.

You know that kind of feeling of never being satisfied? You know why? Because when this happens, you are usually doing things that other people love, not what you really love. Having someone else's interests just for the sake of it or for the sake of trying to make other people notice you. That's not right.. It's just not. Let me ask you -- would you rather people notice you because of you or because of something that you're not even sure is you. I'm putting all of my money on being who I am. It doesnt matter, really, if some people dont really like you -- you cant really make everyone like you. That's just how it works. I am just thankful that those that are close to me, knows what I am like and knows who I aspire to be.

I never quite understood this attention-seeking hype. Maybe I am from a different generation probably? I dont really think so. Maybe the different upbringing? All in all, I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who are nothing like that. OK, not all of them. I tend to distance myself from whoever I feel might make me tick like a timebomb. I usually just surround myself with people that are similar to me, but yet so different. So we dont have to compete for much really, because our interests are different.

Life is hard enough, with everything else. Why do you want to make it more complicated. Just be yourself, and just do whatever you want in life. Never look at someone's life and envy them to the extent that you think that they have more than you, and that life is unfair. They might have something more that you have in one thing -- or maybe two -- BUT! That's because they probably worked hard for it. Everything happens for a reason. Dont chase, dont always think like you're in a race. Live your life at your own pace. Be your own self and enjoy it, savour it. Most of the time, happiness is just right in front of you. It's not that life is unfair, it's just how it is. You have to put in some effort for it to be how you want it to be. If you gain something by hurting someone else, then do you really think it'll last? Have some faith in yourself, because no matter what, you'll be the one living it. Make your own calls, and be your own person. It's liberating.

It's free.

Try it.

Until the next one, this one is getting too long :)

Sending some love!

2012-01-31T02:25:00.001+08:00

Top 5? I am sending out some love right now to all the readers/bloggers!

I just discovered this, thanks for reading my blog. Drop some comments because I'd like to know you more. If you want me to link you from my blog, then you can just leave me some comments. I'm not sure if this is a common thing, but I am thankful to those who does read what I write, since this is one way for you to get to know me. This post goes out to all of you, out there! Whoot!

So it's getting late. It'll be a very busy day tomorrow, so I better get some shut-eye!

Until the next one! Tata!

We're not the same -- but similar -- yet different!

2012-01-31T02:11:00.000+08:00

WHOOOT!

This was taken ages ago during MyNPL at Dataran Pahlawan. Uploaded this since we dont have a lot of pictures together. So she's back! I picked her up from the bus terminal here in Malacca around 7pm and head to dinner -- Asam Pedas Claypot Laksamana -- since all of us was starving. It's been a week since we hung out, had lots to talk about. Then it was straight to practice. If you're wondering who she is -- she's my housemate AND she's one of my closest friend here in Malacca, other than Bella,Shima & Dome. We're usually mistaken as twins, what do you guys think? I dont think we look that much a like though, but yeah we're close. I guess because we're always together, that's why people think that.

So, tomorrow we're going to go out for some therapy food and our catch-up session. I'll post any updates soon.

Can't wait for Shima's arrival to Malacca this Wednesday, embarrassing moments planned for Hadi when we hang out this weekend with everyone & Nakid's visit. All in all, this is going to be a very packed week -- filled with hanging-outs at our favourite places, eating wonderful foods, sight-seeing, friendly banters, very loud laughters and our most-missed-activity ; driving around places screaming in the car.

Yeah, that's about it. Btw, please ignore the me in the picture above. I had bangs last year and yes I know, they look awful.

A random memory!

2012-01-30T14:17:00.001+08:00

We were all dolled up on Saturday to go out. She was wearing this long grey leopard print dress, while i was in a blue polkadot loose tee worn with jeans.

This was what happened, in front of the lift.

*waiting for the lift to come up*
I said to her, "Oh, kita pg makan dekat mamak tau." ("Oh, we're actually going to eat at a Mamak, today.")

She actually made this face when she looked back at me, shaking her head.

It made me laugh. I knew she was going to do that.

Oh well, thanks for visiting me. I'll see you soon. Sorry I cant go to Anti-Flag with you. :(

Make-up Haul Infos and Reviews :)

2012-01-30T14:01:00.003+08:00

So the infos on the make-up haul post earlier! (well, days earlier!)

Maybelline Angelfit Flawless Natural Liquid Foundation

♡ Specially developed to suit Asian women's skin. Covers flaws without clogging pores no matter how many layers you apply. A luminous and transparent finish that perfectly fits your skin tone. With pink pearls,chamomile essence,Royal Jelly and Vitamin E. Dermatologically tested. Non comedogenic. 250ml/8.5 onz. Available in C01 Nude, W02 Natural Buff, N03, C03 Natural Ivory, W07 Apricot Sand
♡ I how it glides on my skin, but the consistency is a little runny. The good thing about that is that, when you put it on, it does feels a little transparent -- feels like you're not putting much on. It doesnt make you look like you piled on a lot of makeup. Just set it in with some powder and you're all set.

Benefit Stay Dont Stray Eye Primer

♡This dual-action power primer works 360° degrees around the eyes to make concealers AND eyeshadows STAY PUT. Concealers don't crease, eye shadows stay vibrant and true. Comes in a neutral nude shade that is universally flattering and a custom airless pump that is so easy to use - just a dab. Sodium Hyaluronate hydrates and fills in fine lines. Vitamins C & E help fight signs of aging. 10.0mL 0.33 US fl. oz. How to Apply? Gently pump a small amount onto the back of your hand. Apply 3 tiny dots under your eyes with fingertips & blend. Next apply 3 dots on eyelids & blend. Let set, then apply concealers and eyeshadows as usual.
♡Tried this, it's actually quite amazing. I love it. But it doesnt work much as a concealer, if you just want to use it as just that. Wear this primer, and wear a concealer on top of it. The smell is pretty weird though, but I can get pass it because it works wonders!

Benefit 10 bronzing & highlighting face powder duo

♡ Highlight and contour cheekbones in one sexy sweep. It is in satiny pink and bronze. Comes complete with soft, natural-bristle cheek brush
♡How to Apply? Lightly sweep brush over powder so pink highlighting powder appears on half the brush and bronzer on the other half. With pink side up, whisk from the apple of the cheek up to the hairline. Now you've done the sexy sweep! You may need to blend.
♡ I love how it is very subtle and soft. I usually use this to contour and use my pink blusher and sweep that lightly on the apple of my cheek. It works great. I asked my friends to give it a try and they love it. It has a little shimmer to it that when my friend, Bella used it -- she had shimmer all over her. This suits all skin tone I assume, since all of us had very different skin tones.

Loreal Base Magique Transforming Smoothing Primer

♡ NEW BASE MAGIQUE transforming smoothing primer instantly smoothes pores and creates an even surface, so that you get a more flawless make-up result that lasts. The silky, lightweight formula glides onto skin and minimises the look of pores and fine lines to transform your skin surface. Silicon oil enables easy glide-on application with no greasy residue for longer-lasting make-up. Dermatologically Tested.

♡ It really is light. I wear this before applying my Skin Food BB Cream and it creates a more flawless application. When you apply it on, you can feel that it really is going into the creases and lines to make your face more smooth. It does make your make-up stays on longer. Even in the ridiculously hot weather we're constantly having right now.

Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner in Charcoal

♡ Now with richer, more intense color that wears up to 16 hours, glides on smoothly to create a fine line, waterproof formula won't smudge, smear or fade away.

♡ Not much to say I guess. I only usually wear my eyeliner from BodyShop since it's the only thing that sticks, without smudging throughout the day. My eyes are a very problematic area when it comes to make-up. So I usually only wear the products that I always use that's effective. Thought of giving this a try. The colour is a little muted though.

M.A.C Viva Glam Gaga

♡ A lipstick that is inspired by Lady Gaga, which is in a bluish bubblegum pink shade. The colour is a very pale pink and looks a little icy. It glides easily on, and it makes your lips soft when worn. My lips was chapped when I first bought this -- it looks better now after i constantly wear it. A tip though, wear your lipbalm before you wear this if your lips are really chapped. Or avoid from wearing it at all. It wont look good. If you're wondering how it looks, here it is :

♡ With all of the Viva Glam products, every cent raised will go to the MAC AIDS Fund in the support of fighting against HIV/AIDS! So make sure you join in on the support, and purchase this! :)

Revlon Photo Ready Concealer

♡ This concealer gives a full yet undetectable coverage for a or a flawless, airbrushed appearance in any light. It has Photo chromatic pigments that bend, reflect and diffuse light to make skin appear more radiant and glowing. This Oil-free and fragrance-free all over face concealer helps erase imperfections and camouflage dark undereye circles. It has SPF-20 for further protection from sun damage.

♡ Though Revlon is a good brand, I dont really like this concealer. It feels too oily and you need to put on a lot of application for it to make a difference. Compared to my last concealer, this one feels like it can last longer.

** This has been in my drafts' folder for days. Sorry I couldnt post it earlier since my friend came to visit, so I didnt get a chance to work on it.

Until the next one! Tata!

28//1//2012 & 29//1//2012

2012-01-30T13:02:00.001+08:00

Lynn's Visit ; Second & Third Day!

So. on the second day -- I brought her to Lamongan, which is this amazing place that serves delicious Ayam Penyet. It's in MITC and it is near Mydin. If you want to know where it is better, to try it out just ask me. I sometimes eat there for 3-4 times a week because my friends and I just cant get enough of their 'sambal' or chilli paste. Then Ateng came to join us, so we stayed there for a couple of hours to just catch up and talk about upcoming events and shows. It's been a while since I talked about music-related-topics.

After that, we went to Hang Tuah for some bundle-shopping. I didnt get to take her to the one in Dataran Pahlawan though because it was getting late. Then, we went to Jonker Walk again. We bought these sleeveless tees, 3 for RM50. Sometimes the stuffs in Jonker are pretty cheap if I think about it, but there are things here that I think are pretty expensive. If you're free, then come here, see for yourself. I love looking for accessories in Jonker. They have a lot interesting things. I bought my round-eye sunglasses (John Lennon inspired) in Jonker. Just walk around and look at everything, you just might find amazing things. I bought this heart-wings necklace there, I wear it all the time. I havent used my love-shaped britain flag earrings though. Should use it soon :)

We were supposed to have dinner at Laksamana Claypot Asam Pedas near Jonker, but everyone was still full. Lynn has been there before, so she didnt mind not going anyway. Everyone was pretty exhausted at the time. So we drove back home. We met our friend from our hometown, Matt, later that night and hung out with him. We've known him for 5-6 years? I cant really remember.

The next day -- it was time for Lynn to pack up her bags and get ready to go back to JB. We woke up earlier than we thought, since we slept late. Matt texted me, asking to come over to his house since his girlfriend cooked some spaghetti. We told him she's a keeper -- since she made us spaghetti after only first meeting us the night before. His house was pretty awesome. He painted the floor black instead of putting carpets, he had framed photos of bands and other cool designs, he had this collection of samurai swords and this little table by the balcony. All in all, it was a pretty cool house.

Then it was off to Melaka Central to send Lynn off. We hung out at the McDonald there while waiting for her bus. 5pm came all too fast, so I hugged her goodbye and waved as she queued up.

Went home and baked myself a potato, for dinner. Went to sleep around 10pm.

Until the next post! I hope you enjoyed the photos. It was pretty much us cam-whoring the whole day. Sorry there weren't much interesting photos. We didnt get to do a lot of sight-seeing. Most of the time we were at home hanging out. Maybe the next time she comes, yeah?

27//1//2012

2012-01-29T19:57:00.000+08:00

Lynn's Visit ; First Day

She arrived around 9 PM, so we didnt get to do much. I took her to Calanthe Art Cafe in Jonker Walk for dinner since she was starving from the long bus ride to Malacca. I was there earlier with Bella & Dome for dinner -- so it was kind of weird that we went there again with Lynn afterwards. After that, we walked along the busy Jonker Street to look for things. With empty hands, we drove back home and hung out the whole night. It's been a while since we talked. The last time we saw each other was in Desaru during the Monsoon Mayhem's event. We didnt really get to have a long chat, since there were so many other people with us at the time. Slept late, woke up a little too early for my liking -- but since we didn't want to waste any time -- we got up and got ready for the second day.

I'll post the 2nd and 3rd day photos soon. It's still uploading. :)

Eight years and counting!

2012-01-28T14:47:00.002+08:00

It's Show-your-friend-around-your-place Day!

One of my bestfriend/childhood buddy -- Lynn -- is in Malacca! I've been trying to post the infos on my make-up haul as soon as I can, but I'm keeping her company until Sunday. So, the post has been sitting in the drafts' folder since yesterday. I think it feels neglected. :) This picture is a teaser of what's more to come. If you haven't been to Malacca -- I hope I can show you by posting up our outings' photos. You'd have to squint to the back and sides though -- since we'd probably be in every shot. :)

The love of my life!

2012-01-27T16:03:00.000+08:00

Papa driving us to lunch!

Mama sitting at the back *likeaboss!*

Ayam Penyet AP for the first time. Yeah, never tried the place before.

Happy Soda, the one Zette keeps talking about.

Tutti Fruitti!

Mama wearing the MAC Viva Glam Gaga :P

My 66 year old amazing father ♡

That is what the Viva Glam Gaga shade looks like, cant help myself! Just had to put it on!

Yes I do look a bit sick, I think it's the exhaustion of the week.

Holiday Make-up Haul !

2012-01-27T05:57:00.000+08:00

So yeah, it was a very short holiday for me. With everything that happened, the holiday felt exhausting. The best part of all of the madness - just a small part of everything - was getting to spend time with the family. I loved staying home with my parents watching the television, eating home-cooked meals and going out with them. They're a handful if I think about it now. With my brother who just shaved his head, my dad making jokes and being impatient, my mom being the person I tested my brand new lipstick on, my eldest brother not letting me play with his brand new phone and Dylan being the mischievous cat that he is -- they're the best. I got to go shopping with my parents the day before I came back to Malacca, which is always fun. My dad had some days off work which is REALLY rare for him, so I kept him company. I thought he could use the company after what happened earlier this week. I didnt feel like leaving for Malacca earlier today because it felt like I still wanted to be there for them. Enough of this,then.

So here are the make-ups that I bought over the holiday. Mostly for testing. I needed new ones anyway. Why not try some of the things I havent tried before. :)

(from left to right)

♡ Maybelline Angelfit Flawless Natural Liquid Foundation in W02

♡ Benefit Stay Dont Stray

♡ Benefit 10 bronzing & highlighting face powder duo

♡ Loreal Base Magique Transforming Smoothing Primer

♡ Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner in Charcoal

♡ M.A.C Viva Glam Gaga

♡ Revlon Photo Ready Concealer in 003

** someone commented before that they would like to know the prices for the products -- I would post them up, but I think I'd just reply to your comments if you'd like to know :) so comment me for inquiries.

I will post a review or the products' information in the next post because it's really late right now -- im too sleepy. @_@ Just wanted to post this one up real quick!

Perfumes

2012-01-25T06:01:00.000+08:00

So if you're wondering what kind of perfumes I use in my everyday life, that's it. I sometimes change for the fun of it and use different perfume for different events.

♡ Dior Addict Shine by Dior
♡ Chanel No. 5 by Chanel
♡ Lady Million by Paco Rabbane
♡ Ralph Rocks by Ralph Lauren

Has anyone tried these?

(upper ; left to right)
♡ Original Ralph Lauren by Ralph Lauren
Ralph captures the energy, spirit and personality of today's young woman with a colorful, floral fragrance: sparkling green apple leaves, zesty orange mandarin, charismatic pink magnolia, seductive purple freesia and soft blue musk.

♡ Strawberry and Champagne by Victoria Secret

A intoxicating blend of strawberry, hyacinth, cassis, white flowers and sandalwood

(bottom ; left to right)
♡ Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift
The fragrance composition is described as a charming gourmand–floral with sparkling fruity tones on a wooden background. The top notes are raspberry, dewberry, green tea, freesia and apple blossom. The heart features sweet vanilla along with sundrenched honeysuckle and white hibiscus. Notes of golden amber, musk, sandalwood and peach are in the base.

♡ Kissing in Paris by Victoria's Secret
Discover the thrill of love, laughter and lots of ooh la la in this crisp floral scent. Spring iris and fresh dew make sparks fly. Relive the moment with this fragrant body lotion, a breathtaking path to soft, touchable skin. Infused with our signature trio of skin-nourishing botanicals: antioxidant white tea and moisture-rich rice and white lily milks for healthy-looking skin. Spring iris and fresh dew make sparks fly.

I had the Strawberry and Champagne by Victoria Secret and Original Ralph Lauren by Ralph Lauren and I loved them. Tried other scents before getting them again. I am simple when it comes to choosing perfumes. I like what I like, and I'll get them if I cant get them out of my head.

What are your favourites? :)

Until the next one! Tata!

Tragic Monday

2012-01-25T05:25:00.001+08:00

Last Sunday night,

I prayed to God, that He would help my uncle get through his ordeal and make him healthy again. I planned to have his hospital room pasted with boards that has encouragements written on them. In a short 3-4 months, he battled Stage Four Colon Cancer.

Last Monday morning around 4 a.m,

We lost him. That was the last time I saw him. With shaky knees, I prayed for him and kissed his forehead, and bid my last farewell. I still cant believe he's gone. I just wont accept it.

There was nothing anyone could do -- but move on. I will remember him as the the healthy him before I had ever seen him in the hospital. It's the least I can do for my late uncle -- and that is to remember him before the cancer.

"Dear uncle, may Allah swt bless your soul. Innalillah :'( You will always be in our thoughts and prayers."

1952-2012

My late uncle, my auntie, mama & papa

Our last Raya together with him in 2011

a cuppa

2012-01-22T02:34:00.000+08:00

not sure whether this is true BUT --

found on http://toniewszystko.soup.io/

One of my dreams in life is to open a cafe. Making coffees and baking delicious desserts or snacks for other people to eat/drink in a cosy little heaven of a cafe -- that's one of my dreams in life. A little space for a small boutique, for the women to browse while chatting with the girls. A verandah/porch overlooking a small garden for the men to drink coffee/play with their gadgets/read the news. A bookshelf of used books for those who wants a little light reading while having a cuppa for the introverts/bookworms. A haven for those who want to have a cuppa, without the stress of the day bothering them.

2012-01-22T02:01:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Ampang. I was at my auntie's house. My grandmother passed away on Thursday morning, so we had a little get together. I was supposed to go to a friend's event to surprise someone I havent seen in a while. He called earlier this week and asked me to come, so I had to laugh it off and said I had other plans. I had already told another friend of mine who was organizing the event that I was coming, so he was the only one who knew I was coming. I feel sorry that I couldnt make the surprise happen. I was really looking forward to it. It seemed like a really good show.

Here's a picture of Nakid I took from Arttech's instagram :

Sorry friend. Maybe next time, yeah? I hope it was a great set just now.

I wish I could have watched Plague of Happiness too. It's been a while since I last saw them on stage.

After the get together with the relatives -- we stopped by Starbucks before heading back home, I got myself a Java Chip and Chicken Finger Sandwich. Yumm. I didnt eat much today, so I was starving.

Did you know that there's a Java Chip Frappuccino ice cream?

Looks delicious! :) Until the next one. Bye!

updated wishlist

2012-01-21T19:08:00.000+08:00

So here's my updated wishlist!

♡ Rayne Vendetta Longboard complete

♡ MAC Viva Glam Gaga

♡ Smena 8M

So far, these are some of the stuffs that I am thinking of buying. :) So what's your wishlist?

Until the next post!

CNY

2012-01-21T18:49:00.003+08:00

Happy holidays everyone! Happy Chinese New Year! I hope everyone is having a good time :)

Athena

2012-01-21T01:48:00.000+08:00

I dont get how a damsel in distress is better than a girl who can hold her own fight. I guess no one wants a warrior when they can have a princess?

I cant be the kind of girl that wants to be saved all of the time. I feel like I am burdening the other person. I want to feel like I've achieved something in myself by making it on my own. Is it that unattractive for a girl to be like this? Oh well.

monster!

2012-01-20T05:24:00.001+08:00

I love being silly. That's just me being me. I can be very serious when I want to, but mostly it's more fun being silly, dont you think? Nothing can compare with fun. So I usually choose it over 'serious' / 'boring' / 'uptight'

What are you like usually? If you are fun -- LETS HANG OUT!

Toiletries!

2012-01-20T05:15:00.002+08:00

So here is an update of what other products that I am currently using :-

(upper ; from left to right)

♡ SKII Facial Treatment Gentle Cleanser

♡ SKII Facial Treatment Clear Lotion
♡ SKII Facial Treatment Essence
♡ Pevonia Age-Defying Marine Collagen Cream

(bottom ; from left to right)
♡ LUX Magical Spell Fine Fragrance Elixirs
♡ Asience Inner Rich Conditioner
♡ Asience Inner Rich Shampoo
♡ The Face Shop Herb Day Cleansing Fruit Mix

Do I use a lot of products? Oh well, what do you expect? I am a girl. :) I love pampering myself up. Everyone should have a hygiene routine. Even guys. I know I cant live without mine. I guess that's why I am always late :P

My worst & my best

2012-01-20T04:59:00.001+08:00

I wonder --

If someone cant accept me at my worst, then will he deserve to see me at my best. I know, I am not perfect. Is there such a thing as a perfect human being. Even when I was younger, someone asked me this question "No one is perfect, so why is there a saying that says 'Practice makes perfect'?"

I was quiet for a moment, and explained that it means two different things. You are who you are. You cant really change that. I've seen people change, but to what extent? Not that much really. All you can do is hope for the best, be the best that you can, and hope to eventually find people that accepts you for who you are as you walk through life. Those are the people that would be with you until the end. We are so different from everyone, and yet we find that we have a mutual understanding and friendship between those people. It doesnt mean that we have to find people that are exactly like us, just similar or alike.

I am flawed, I admit it. Very much that sometimes I dont know how I have people around me that can stand me. I am pretty sure they get annoyed by me at times. I am thankful to those that stood by me for years and hopefully for years to come.

I can be very loud when I want to. Mostly, when I am with friends that have the same sense of humor that I do. I can laugh continuously until I have stomach cramps. I can be very quiet when I feel like it. Those are the moments where my thoughts are scattered everywhere, or if I feel that it is not the time and place to be loud. I love being with people who can take jokes and at the same time be the one who's telling them. I do not find people without a sense of humor attractive. I also dont find people who has a rude sense of humor attractive.

Guys usually find quiet and reserved girls more attractive than girls like me. My friends and I conclude that girls like us are usually seen as the 'friend' rather than a girlfriend material. I think that's just one opinion. Or is it not?

I find that, I would love to have a boyfriend who is like my best friend. Who can laugh with me, and has the same sense of humor as me. Who could let me gossip to him all night about the trivial matters that happened that day. Who could let me do what I love without criticizing me, rather than doing that, he would support me in what I do. As I would do the same to him. I'd rather have someone who has his own thing, that I could support him in and be proud of him rather than not having anything in his life, that he would be clinging to me because he has nothing else to do. Yes, spending time together is good, but time apart doing what we love is great. Someone who can accept me at my worst. I may have my own reasons for being the way I am, and if he can stick it out -- I feel that he deserves to see me at my best. I would feel like I would want to show him the best that I can be.

Right now, all of this seems impossible. It's OK. I can only do my best. Whatever happens, happens. When will I feel like I am ready? I think when the right person comes, I will be. For right now, I'll focus on my life and do whatever that makes me happy. It's my life, I have to live it, no one else.

I know I am not girlfriend-material. More like friend-material. I dont think I want to be someone's girlfriend for now. Being single is all good. You dont have to have someone special in your life to be happy. You make yourself happy. It is all up to you. Who says I dont have anyone special? I have God,my family, my friends and my dreams. That's all I need for now.

50 bucks for books!

2012-01-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

This is what I bought using my first RM50 free book voucher from the government. I havent read them, so I am hoping that it'll be good. I was looking for a Paige Toon's book eversince I read Pictures of Lily by her. I wanted to get her other books, but Baby Be Mine was the only one available at the Popular Bookstore here in Malacca. Should really go to the ones in KL soon. The other one is called Match by Ally Condie. I'll leave a synopsis of both books at the end of the post. I have to go, a friend of mine wants me to accompany him for a late supper. So, that's it from me for now. Until. later!

Baby Be Mine by Paige Toon
♡ All Meg Stiles wants is a happy life for her little son Barney and herself. But she knows that her happiness is a fragile little thing. Because her son's father is not her partner Christian but her former lover Johnny Jefferson, and both don't no anything about it. Johnny, a famous rockstar, broke Meg's heart once and she is not willing to give him a second chance, but when he realizes that he has a son everything changes and Meg has to decide how to go on.
How will Meg's future look like and will she give love a second chance?

Matched by Ally Condie

♡ On her seventeenth birthday, Cassia meets her Match. Society dictates he is her perfect partner for life. Except he’s not. In Cassia’s society, Officials decide who people love. How many children they have. Where they work. When they die. But, as Cassia finds herself falling in love with another boy, she is determined to make some choices of her own. And that’s when her whole world begins to unravel...

What? No, I was being sarcastic!

2012-01-19T05:38:00.001+08:00

No -- really. It does.

Masks on! Masks on!

2012-01-19T04:55:00.001+08:00

So I am posting this while wearing a mask on my face. Tonight, I am using the Himalaya Fruit Pack -- which is here :

Last night, I wore one from The Face Shop, which is the Hyaluronic Acid Face Mask Sheet :

I dont really like sticky masks, but after wearing it, my face did feel a lot softer. It would really do a lot more, if I could just get my sleeping pattern back to normal. I am becoming more and more nocturnal nowadays. It's screwing up my body.

Info on the Face Shop Hyaluronic Acid Face Sheet Mask :-
♡The Face Shop Essential Mask Sheet Hyaluronic Acid Mask, a desire mask to supply moisture to skins. It contains Hyaluronic Acid to watering any dry, washed skins. It helps prevent the excess oil from skin when it is fully hydrated.
♡ What is Hyaluronic Acid, you ask? Well, from what it says at the back of the pack -- it is the key water maintaining substances in human skin and can bind 100-1000 times its own weight in moisture, keeping skin silky soft. (This is a fact, since I used it for a day and a friend of mine said my skin looked really good and asked what I was using -- thought it was Botox -__- , ok ignore the last comment like I did when my friend said it to me)

So some info about the Himalaya Fruit Pack Mask is as follow :-
♡Consist of Apple,Fig & Papaya. Apple, to improve and nourish skin texture --Fig/Cucumber provide cooling effect to the skin -- Papaya smoothens the skin -- Mineral clay soothes the skin and removes deeply embedded impurities.
♡The best thing about it is, it really does tighten your facial skin. You can feel that as it dries, it pulls your skin and make them look really smooth after you wash it off. What I dont like about it is the tingling feeling when you're putting it on. It goes away after a few seconds. I thought it was due to the fact that I have sensitive skin but I've read some reviews of it, seems like everyone is having the same experience.
If you have some breakouts, it will dry them up and you can just scrub your face with a scrub cleanser like Burt's Bees. It works wonders! I love this scrub!

I got this for free in a gift bag after a shooting for a magazine. I wasnt really sure if I was going to like it, but since my facial cleanser was finished at the time, thought of giving it a try. I love it. My face was cleared off from breakouts during 'that time of the month' (which is a real pain in the ass for my face and hormones).

♡This deep cleansing natural scrub is clinically proven to exfoliate dead skin cells while refining the appearance of pores without over-drying or irritating skin. Salicylic acid, derived naturally from willow bark extract, penetrates deep into pores to help reduce acne and prevent future breakouts, while jojoba beads and a natural fruit acid complex combine to gently exfoliate resulting in clear and smooth skin, naturally. Dermatologist tested. Noncomedogenic.

It really does scrub your face without over-drying or irritating it. Your face feels really moisturized after washing it with this scrub. I love how it feels like you've already put on some moisturizer after rinsing it off. It's really good for those who have sensitive skin. You should really give it a try! It's almost finished, so I should really go and buy a new one soon.

So this post is getting too long. :) I'll post what I am using for cleansers and etc in another post soon, and why I am using them.

Bye!

P/S : The title reminds me of when I played Paintball w/ the girls -- where we keep on taking our masks off after the game and getting yelled at by the marshals. Geez, we can hear you, you know?

Out for a spin!

2012-01-05T20:58:00.006+08:00

4//1//12

Tested the Olympus and those were the results. We didnt get to take more shots because the sun was setting. The last one is from when we were eating Tutti Fruitti after playing a game at BBP. I dont really know the name of the game, but I've seen it before. Usually people will put down a name of someone famous on a piece of paper and paste it on the other person's forehead and they have to guess who they are. We put down the names of brands instead of famous people's name. :) Been really busy lately. That's why I am a little behind.

Until the next one!

Feeling like this today (Outfit Of The Day) ♡

2012-01-04T15:24:00.002+08:00

What's in my make-up bag?

2012-01-04T14:03:00.005+08:00

So here are some of the cosmetic products that you can find in my make-up bag. Well, the ones I normally use anyway. I keep it simple with the products that I use. I dont normally wear bright or colorful eye shadows when I am out. I would either not wear any, or I would wear very subtle tones e.g earthy/nude colors. I do have the tendency to stick to one kind of product at a time since I'm used to it -- unless they're discontinued or I find a better one when I feel like experimenting.

(from left to right;upper)

♡ SKII Skin Signation Cream in Foundation ( I use it as my compact)

♡ Stage Photo Pro Foundation in 04 Take 3

♡ Eye Shadow Mono in Buttercream;Havana;Andalucia;Turkish Delight

♡ Bodyshop Liquid Eyeliner in Black

♡ Silkygirl Natural Brow Liner in Dark Brown

♡ Skin Food Aloe Sun BB Cream in 02 (lifesaver!)

(from left to right;lower)

♡ Stage Wonderluxe Satin Matte Lipstick in 01 Naughty Babe;02 Buff Belle;17 Apricot Angel

♡ Maybelline Color Sensational in Summer Sunset

♡ Maybelline Hyper Curl Volum' Express Waterproof in Brown

♡ Silkygirl Perfect Cover Concealer in 02

♡ Stage Wondergloss High Shine Lipgloss in 05 Helen

♡ Stage Lip Liner in 01 Nearly Naked

♡ Vanilla LipSmacker

So, that's it! If I have anymore updates, I'll post them up. I'll post my other beauty products later. I better get ready. I'm going to the campus and then heading to town for a hangout session with the girlfriends :) Whoooo!

Give me some ♡

2012-01-04T04:15:00.001+08:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Splurge!

2012-01-04T03:12:00.004+08:00

Ritchie Skinny Leg Jean

Probably the comfiest jeans I've had in a very long time that are store-bought. Most of my jeans that I wear, I guess since a few years back, are all from Rebirth bundle store in JB. I've tried buying them in MNG,Levis,Forever21,Topshop etc etc you name it! Never found any that feels as good as these. They're amazing. How amazing? I bought one, and wore it the next day, and bought another one while wearing the one I bought from the day before. Cant afford to wait to buy it another day, and feeling disappointed if they're out of stock. Never really tried jeans in Cotton On before but the store has never let me down before. Prices are reasonable and the clothes are wearable -- at least in my oppinion :)

Quick, quick, jump the line to my side of town.

2012-01-04T02:21:00.002+08:00

I just came back from Subang, and I am so stoked that I went shopping with my mom during hols. Got a lot of stuffs from Empire and some stuffs that I took from my mom that she's not using anymore :) So, the only thing I feel like getting right now are a pair of Brogues. Found a pair that's reasonably cheap online, so hoping that'll curb my shopping binge. Oh yeah, it'll be another few weeks until I get myself that Quiver I want. I'll just re-calculate my savings and see if I have enough so that I wont have to pull the pocket strings too much. A girl gotta eat, you know. Maybe I'll just eat whatever there is in the kitchen. Those bagels in the freezer are not going to be eaten if I wont be eating them. Mhhmm YUMM!

Being the idiot I am -- I posted before about the Olympus PEN that I wanted to get. I totally forgot that my mom already bought one ages ago! She lost her camera back when she was in UK, after she came back to Malaysia -- she bought a new camera since she needed one. A few days after purchasing it though, my brother took it with him. Maybe, that's why I dont really remember it. Since I didnt get to use it. I kind of remember trying to use it, and felt that it was a bit difficult to handle. It's an amazing camera though. So I called my brother and asked if I could have it -- and he said YES! WHOOHOO! So here I am with the Olympus PEN EP1 on my bed. Tried fooling around with it earlier but the battery died. Looked for the charger but I left it in the car! -___- *sigh* Im too lazy to get it from the car. So I guess I'll just charge it tomorrow before going out. I just hope the battery will last. Im going out with my friends so we can take some pictures. It's been a while since we took some decent pictures together. It'll be fun to experiment with the camera. I can learn a lot from an outing. If the battery dies, I'll have my Holga to take some pictures with. Yeay! (note: buy new films and send finished rolls to be developed)

Isnt it a beauty? *excited*

After turning it on,if you know what I mean. (ok this sounds so wrong)

Until the next one! See you!

Likes & Loves

2012-01-03T04:01:00.002+08:00

2012

2012-01-03T01:17:00.003+08:00

So yeah. new beginnings.

new hopes.

new dreams.

Some stays the same I guess. My wishlist for this year is :

1. Mambu Quiver 42"

2. Smena 8M

3. Olympus PEN-1/Olympus PEN E-PM1 Mini/Lumix DMC-LX5

4. SHOES!

5. Oh yeah, get skinnier and more lean.

Follow me on tumblr too :)

2012-01-03T01:12:00.003+08:00

http://justaqi.tumblr.com/

All time favourite!

2012-01-03T00:35:00.005+08:00

Mom made steak again! Today w/ mash potato and some broccoli!

nom nom nom!

Paintings

2012-01-03T00:19:00.007+08:00

Have I ever shown you my paintings? :) Here are some. They're all up on my bedroom walls -- to remind me that nothing is impossible. They're not exactly works of art, but I am pretty proud of them. So here they are!

There are a few more, but I havent taken any pictures of them :) I will upload as soon as I do. The reason I started was because my mind was a mess, and painting on a blank canvas was very therapeutic. The next one is probably one of my favorite. I painted it for my brother Jafr, for his birthday. It took me a while to came up with it, but it was worth it. The trees represent how he is my shelter throughout my life as my brother -- the color purple represents what I remember seeing him in every morning when he wakes up -- yellow represents me, well it's my favorite color -- the colors surrounding the trees represent the days and nights that he's been there for me. I guess that's it. Tell me what you think of all the paintings. I'd love to know how you interpret them. All of us see things differently, lets share!

Until the next one, yeah?

Holga 135 & Quiver & PopmyApple

2012-01-01T15:03:00.003+08:00

I got this yesterday. I went to SS2 with Ayap to pick it up and I was nervous. Didnt know if I would fall in love with it or regret buying it in the first place. The first I did when I got in the car was open the box and yeap, fell in love with it. It's so light and it's not that hard to figure out how to use. Loaded the film when we were in Serai for lunch and started snapping photos non stop. Finished my first roll in that few hours. Not really sure how it'll turn out -- so, hoping for the best! Im going to develop it soon. Im just a bit picky on where to send it. Wish someone could help me out. *sigh* Oh yeah, i butchered my second film because I didnt load it correctly. There goes one roll of film I never got to finish. Oh well, I'll get better at it. :)

So this is my first lomo camera. i'm going to save some money for the extras for this camera. More saving for my longboard! I went to wheel love yesterday and saw the Quiver. Looks promising. Im very excited! Did you know about PopmyApple? :D They're awesome. I went to the shop in SS15 yesterday and Ayap bought me a casing. He got this awesome one that made his iPhone 4 looked like a gameboy. They're not even ridiculously expensive. So, I'll probably be visiting it in the future again. :)

Until the next time! :)

Ingrid Michaelson

2012-01-01T15:02:00.000+08:00

Lovely songs for a lovely day. :) I hope you'll have a great one yourself!

Happy New Year loves!

2012-01-01T14:16:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 2012!!

It's been a year already?? My OH my. Oh well, LETS DO THIS!

SAVE UP!

2011-12-08T05:02:00.002+08:00

Been on a prowl in the web, searching for destinations for a great weekend getaway. A roadtrip with the girls -- a trip long overdue. AirAsia is having a promotion again. So, we're thinking of booking for a trip that'll probably will be happening next year. If everything goes well, I'll be flying off somewhere sometime next year. Hurray for that!

We're also planning a trip for New Year's Eve. It's in another couple of weeks. Not really sure how we're going to pull it off but I hope we'll find a way. Last year's was a blast but I dont intend on celebrating it like that again this year. That will be the first and the last. Anyone has any ideas on where to go? What are your plans?

I've been looking at travel magazines a lot these couple of days, it's not even funny. I feel like going everywhere! If only money is not a matter -- I'll be jetting off somewhere tomorrow.

I have to keep on reminding myself that I have to save up. For what, you ask? First off, the trip with my friends. Second -- I want to get a longboard, and it does not come cheap. The cheapest are around RM480-500. So, lets just say I need to really tighten the pocket strings.

I cant wait for the new year. I cant wait to do a lot of things. I am so psyched about all of the things that awaits. I need to rediscover myself. To live by the moment, and to repair the parts of my life that have been long neglected. I can do this!

Oh yeah, I am also looking for a camera. Any will do I guess. As long as I can take pictures with it. Even the ones still using film. Instax is burning a hole in my pocket. Too expensive to even think of restocking it all the time.

I hope for the best. Next update, coming soon!

new horizon!

2011-12-06T23:48:00.002+08:00

Bitter realization as I realize -- my world is too small. I need to discover that new horizon, that desperately drips in color for me to take a step towards it.

I havent been taking you on a walk with me. I was merely spinning around in one place. Trying to break free -- but too controlled to even step out of the spinning frenzy. Can I say 'no more'? I am not sure. Let's just say, I am open to new things and a new me.

Well, I am still going to be me, but a reinvented one.

I hope so.

So here's to the end of the year -- hopefully not the end of the world.

Cant wait to see what's waiting for me at the unveiling of the new horizon, lets pray for 2012. Lets make things happen.

Milow & Marit Larsen - Out of My Hands

2011-10-13T03:12:00.004+08:00

Movies unwatched. Books piled in the room, with the pages still unturned. Listening to music without actually listening. Some things are just coming and going. Some things are just static and not moving. Thoughts are swirling in my already too pre-occupied mind. I am trying to make sense of things. I wish it was easier, but it never is. I am not sure as to why, it hurts.. So, this month started great but now my walls are thickening and it is closing in. I dont blame anyone. This is all me. It is just my way of reacting to your silence.

What is becoming of me? I need to shake myself awake and focus. I need to find myself. This is not me. I am not weak.

I hope I am wrong about you -- but something tells me that I dont want to find out. Im too scared to even try. It's out of my hands.

"I made the call just too late,I just thought I could wait for one more day, in the time that passed, you went down so fast."

"Out of my reach, out of my hands, I didn't understand, I would have changed all my plans."

"At four a.m., some battles fought are battles won, but this ain't one of them, one more shadow cast, you went down so fast."

"I let you go."

Goodnight.

why do you have to stand there?

2011-07-28T15:01:00.000+08:00

Hhhmmmm. So many train of thoughts in my head.

Session One Complete Hey Hey!

2011-07-28T14:34:00.003+08:00

Finished photographing all of the models for the club yesterday night. Phew. They were a handful but it was all good. It was hectic as I was running around to find heels for the ones that are either wearing one inch heels,wedges or forgot to bring one. Seriously? It's suppose to be a model sort-of-casting, and they're wearing one inch heels? I could walk in those in my sleep. They need to learn to walk in 5 to 6 inch heels or they're not going to be handling the catwalk that well. We havent booked that much shows nowadays for the lack of time and source, so if any of you wants to give us a shot, just PM me. :)

We're going to have another session for the photo shoot. Not sure when, but lets just see how things goes in the Ramadhan. Whether we have the time or not. Sekretariat Rakan Muda are going to have a convoy to the orphanages around Malacca, so the club is probably joining that. I am not sure what the other clubs are doing, so can't really say much about our upcoming events.

Tonight there will be an audition for TOLONG Theater. I want to be there to support the committees and the people who are auditioning, but I have an exam on tmrw morning. So im not sure if it'll be OK to go. The football match is tonight right? If I am not mistaken? Oh well, we'll just see how it goes.

Gotta get ready. It's a brand new day. Need to head to campus to find the club's advisor and then see Kak Nita to pass up all of our club's documents. Agh. Then study for the exam. I need a miracle, because I am all tense and agitated.

Be a better you, will you?

2011-07-27T01:18:00.003+08:00

It's annoying how people tell you off on something, and in fact they're not all that different from you. I mean, yeah I get it. You have your opinions, but I dont want to hear them if you dont apply them yourself. Everyone keeps on saying that I am someone who they can critic all they want, but I would just push it aside and not get offended. The truth is, I am only human -- I feel as much as you do. There's no excuse in you telling me all these things just because you know I can take it. Yeah, I dont argue much. I'd rather listen and put it away to the back of my head. If it's a good advice, then I'll put it to use, but it you're just making me feel like a ticking bomb then yeah, I wouldn't even bother to remember what you said to me just a few seconds ago. I know what I am like, do you know what you're like?

I am so tired of all the work that I have to put up with when the person who should be doing it comes up with excuses. Come on, I have other things to do too. Can't you be at least a little bit considerate to someone who's already covered your ass countless of times, already? If everyone finishes their task, then there wouldnt be a ny problem. Am I holding two jobs right now? No, right? So do your job so I can do mine and have some little time for myself. AGH.

When I do something, I try to make the best of it. The effort. That's important. At least if I had to do something, I could go all out. It tires me out, but if I am satisfied, then that's all that matters. Would you be happy if your work is not up to your satisfactory? I dont think so. So if you ever have to do something, put as much effort in it as you can possibly put in. It'll be worth it.

Tomorrow's exam is cancelled! Yeay! So I have some time to rest my aching head before the exam on Friday. Was thinking of joining the E'Bee Rovers Scout's Clinic about bein a scout, but I'm not sure. They've been supportive of us, it's the least that we can do to support them. I never thought I would be interested in learning on how to be a scout. I had friends who were Scouts when I was in highschool, but that's an entirely different story.

Im going to read a book before hitting the sack. Until next time.

I am feeling a little nostalgic tonight.

2011-07-27T01:06:00.002+08:00

Louder Than Thunder by The Devil Wears Prada.

What would it take for things to be quiet?
Quiet, like the snow.
And I know this isn't much but,
I know I could I could be better.

I don't think I deserve it
Selflessness.
Find your way into my heart.
All stars could be brighter.
All hearts could be warmer.

What would it take for things to be quiet?
Quiet, like the snow.
Are we meant to be empty handed?
I know I could I could be better.

I don't think I deserve it
Selflessness.
Find your way into my arms.
All stars could be brighter.
All hearts could be warmer.

What would it take for things to be quiet?

Tiny Heart

2011-07-27T00:54:00.002+08:00

Tiny Heart by Flyleaf

Matters of the heart are so complicated. There's never a right or wrong way to approach it, because nothing is definite when it comes to it. Im feeling melancholic nowadays. I feel like my head is too tired to think about anything that there is to think about. I'm being irrational and I dont think that there's nothing wrong with it. Ah who cares. Sod it!

Think positive stuffs. Next post shall be more enthusiastic :)

To start the day, you should end it first.

2011-07-26T07:04:00.003+08:00

I cant really sleep nowadays. Things have been rough these couple of weeks. No wait -- I think it's been a month already. I have too many things on my plate right now that it's not even funny. Everything seems to be harder than usual. After finding solutions for things that goes wrong, just when I thought things can get back to being peaceful and quiet -- it gets more complicated. I think I've lost things that I dont think I can ever recover. Things might get back on track, but it'll never be the same.

So what's new? Nothing really. Went to Organization Management Seminar last weekend, and it was a bore. Though I learnt a few things from the Business Unit and Finance on how to manage things as a Treasurer. That's what I get for being one -- going to seminars. Oh well, it wasn't all bad. There were a few things that kept me awake. I had my close friends from MMU with me, so it wasn't all that bad. :)

Right now, we've finished our club's Constitution,Financial Report, and etc. I have an exam this coming Wednesday and Friday. I am not looking forward to sitting for the papers of Criminal Law and Contract Law. They're seriously a pain. Im just glad Tort's midterm was done with. So next week is Midterm Break!!! YEAYYY! I can finally rest my thumping and pounding brain. It's surprising that we had to deal with embezzlement and all this bullshit before entering the realm of our careers. AGHHH! There's too many things to deal with!

Next week will be the start of the month of Ramadhan. I cannot wait to go home and spend some time with the family. I havent been back in ages due to activities and studies. I had to performed with the others for the opening of ISS Night. The Chief Minister of Malacca was there so that was kind of fun. Cant wait for Theatre Tolong and the MATA Camp that we've planned. Ah shit, more work. With more exams and more problems. -___-

Met with some friends yesterday night while buying something at the convenience store. They just got back from climbing up the Bukit Beruang. Haha. I've been there once with the girls. Thought it was quiet OK. They asked us to come along next time. Gah, I miss hanging out with them since we havent done it in a while after they moved out of the old house. I think maybe we should all plan it, and do it soon. We were planning on doing it during Ramadhan, and break our fast at the observation point overlooking the city. Would be cool though :)

This year, my goals are to prove everyone wrong. That I am not weak. Abseiling sounds good, dont you think? :) Maybe I should give it a try. I know Im busy and all, but I think Im gonna try training with Wan for the volleyball team after Ramadhan. Been ages since I played the game.

I should really sleep. Got tons of work to finish in another 2 hours. So yes, 2 hours of sleep. I think my bones are cracking. *sigh* Come on Aqi, live healthily!! NOT.

Oh yeah, wish me luck on my exams!

The Bestfriend.

2011-07-26T06:25:00.002+08:00

I was hoping you'd knew how much I am missing you right now, that I feel like crying my eyes out. I dont know why, but I feel like crying my eyes out. I wish you knew, how much I miss my best friend.

I bet it never even crossed your mind. I hope you're doing good.

Seul Ou Accompagné

2011-05-31T02:24:00.002+08:00

You know what. I've been feeling a bit down these couple of days. It comes and go. Sometimes even the thoughts that are inside my head -- it doesnt feel real. Like someone put it there just to torture me. For me to feel this depressed and sad. Oh well.. Right now all I can think of is that -- I need to open my eyes. I need to be happy. i need to feel like I am alive, no matter what. I have to not give up and just smile. I have to do everything that I can to make myself smile. That's all I can do. I've been trying not to cry for so long, that my chest hurts. Like I'm trying to breathe but there's not enough space for my lungs to fill with air. I'm sorry. I'm being very vague. I dont really write whatever that I think is too personal, and I think a lot of things are too private to me. That's why I only write of what I feel, but not the reasons as to why I feel it.

So.. Here are the updates about Bandung. I was supposed to take the flight on Monday but I had to take the one on Tuesday due to the complications that my mom and I faced. Our passports was less than 6 months from the date we were suppose to renew it. Didnt know it was a big deal. So we had to go to Putrajaya HQ to make a new one. It was pretty inconvenient. It was hot and I was so tired, but we managed to get it done in an hour or so. After sending my Dad home, so he could go to work -- my mom and I went to Sunway Pyramid to eat. We spent some time shopping and I bought some clothes from Dorothy Perkins. My mom bought this Camel Tribal Print Harems, and I loved it. Decided to get one myself. I laughed my ass off when my mom bought herself another one and said it's really comfortable so she's using them as her pajama pants. I love the harems, it's really comfortable.

On tuesday we flew to Bandung. I dont really think I'm suitable for Indonesian weather or the place itself. I was air sick, car sick and just sick all the way. It's a wonderful place though. Didnt have that much time to explore but I would definitely go again. Im thinking of flying there again with my childhood friends. Most of them are working, so they can save some money up. I went to Paris Van Java, thought that it was a nice place to just hang out without doing anything much. The hotel that I stayed in was called G.H Universal. You can look it up at google. It's a really beautiful hotel. I wish I could have stayed there for as long as I could. The people there were also very nice. I have some pictures but I haven't transferred them. So, this one is from my twitter. I took this picture from the lobby.

I dont really know what else to write about Bandung. I think if I can go anywhere in Indonesia tomorrow -- i would really like to see Bali. I really want to go to Bandung with my bestfriends, but I'd love to fly to Bali with my boyf. It would be fun to explore Bali with him :)

So moving on! I cut my damn hair off the day before yesterday. Gah. I hate it. Told the hairdresser not to cut that much since i still want to keep my curls. No, she didnt care what it meant to me when she chopped the curls off. :(:( I went to Curve to meet my friends and they said it looked OK. Even my boyf said it was OK, and that he loved it. Well, he loves everything so I am not taking his judgment into account. It's so hard to take care of. Yeah sure it looked fine after it was blow-dried PROFESSIONALLY. Me? I am no professional. I am the laziest person to be doing these stuffs. I loved my curls because I dont even need to do anything much. It looks good as it is. That's a lesson for me to not go on cutting my hair in just any salons. My hair is really thick and it tends to frizz. I can never get a good haircut until I went to this salon back in JB. It was a miracle that they made my hair manageable. From now on, I wont trust just anyone to cut my hair. The next time I want to cut my hair, I'm going to drive my ass off to JB. Even if the damn place is expensive. It's a pain to have good hair. So now I am looking for a good hair dryer or a straightener. A lot of reviews that are good mostly are for GHD, CHI and BabyBliss. Im not sure if they're available here in Malaysia. I can find any reviews on the ones that are sold in Malaysia. It's frustrating! So if you have any suggestions, please please please tell me :) So here is the picture of myself after the haircut, it looks good because it's blow dried. -__-

Im also considering using Redken. The 300ml bottle cost around RM50. I think that's a good price for a shampoo and conditioner. So what do you guys think about Redken? Are they any good? Im going to use the Redken Extreme line. I am also looking for Redken Extreme CAT Spray. I heard that it's a really good product. You use it after shampooing and before the conditioner. I cant seem to find it anywhere. For the heat protection product, Im thinking of trying the OSiS Flatline Iron Serum. Looks good but I dont know, anyone care to give me the review? I think it's not that expensive. For now, Im not using the hair straightener. I just bought the ceramic brush from Body Shop. Going to try it tmrw after washing my hair with Dove conditioner.

Right now my boyfriend is not speaking to me. I cant actually call him because my phone is barred. I just want to say that I love him. I dont know what will happen to us. I mean no can ever know what their future lies. But right now, I love him. The future? Lets just take one step at a time. *sigh* If you're reading this, then -- I am so sorry that I cant be what you want me to be. I cant give you whatever that is you want from me. Im sorry if you think that all I care is about myself. But you know what? At 23, and with everything that is in my head and everything that I want -- you cant really blame me. I need to do the things that I love without having to always think about other people. I told you to do the same. Live! You're still young and I'd like to think that I am still young too. Right now, all we can do is try to live. Before our roads narrow down and all we are left with are our careers and the dreaded adulthood. I think I have this plan in my head. Like a 5 year plan kind of thing. :) A career, a new car, a land to build a home and showering the parents with gifts. I dont need emotional burdens, I have enough of tiresome thoughts to last me a lifetime.

mystery made emotions.

2011-05-11T15:35:00.003+08:00

Je me sens vivant. Fatigué, mais je suis moi-même d'étirement avec les mains vers leciel. On se sent bien.

Right now I'm all awake. I'm waiting for my friends to call and we're all going to go set up the place for Afiq Rashid's Birthday Party. Happy Birthday in advance yaw! He'll be 21 tomorrow. That's a good age, huh? I was 21 -- two years ago. It doesnt feel like it though. I think i dont even remember my age anymore sometimes. Not really sure if that's a good thing or not. So, what is it going to be? Black or blue for tonight? The theme is black/blue. I cant believe I have only a single blue dress in my wardrobe. I have tons of black though. Oh well, I'll just try everything before I go.

I'll update about the birthday if I have the time.

So in another day or two, I'll be heading to JB with some of my friends for a vacay of our own. To release some stress and just to have fun. It is also a goodbye gift to Dot. A friend of ours that has to leave at the end of next month. Feels like we've known each other longer than the actual duration of our friendship. I think when you just *click* with someone, it doesnt really matter how long you've been friends with them. The trip had a lot of bumps and I think we're just going to go with our hearts open. To just go with everything. I dont know how it'll turn up, but I hope we're all going to have a good time. Since I'm from JB, I hope I can show them what it has to offer.

SO, I hope I can update about that later on. :)

Later!

It's been a while :)

2011-05-08T01:28:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since I posted something. Im not really sure what to write about right now -- but I felt like writing. So here goes.

Generally, I've been really busy with a lot of things. This is the week that I am finally home for the weekend after not being able to drive back for about 3 weeks. That's the longest I think since I came to Malacca. Usually, I would only miss one week. Since there were too many things that I had to do in Malacca, I had no choice. Mostly it was because I had to dance. I had shows almost every weekends. It was unbelievable. Funny though, considering I am not a professional dancer. Not even a good one to start with. Oh well.

There's a few things on my mind. I'll write them later. I need to finish my Chicken Pie before it gets cold.

Hooray!

2011-04-16T10:57:00.002+08:00

I am stoked right now. I cant believe I am not sleeping yet. Im supposed to have been sleeping hours ago, and waking up right now. GAH. I cant sleep. I'm tired but I just cant sleep. Maybe it was the coffee I drank before trying to get to sleep hours ago. I guess I wont be sleeping today. I have a sketch practice to get to this afternoon -- that is only if I dont suddenly fall asleep. I WAS going to sleep, but then there was a phonecall asking me whether I would be available around 11 a.m. It was SkyNet. I was surprised that my parcel had arrived. It was only yesterday I think, that I paid for what I ordered. Im positive it was yesterday. Oh well.

I am so excited that my brand new hoodie and bag is finally here! So here are their photos!

The COCO Chanel No.9 white hoodie. It was either white or grey. I prefer the white one :) I tried it on and it was super comfortable. I have to be careful not to stain it too much :D

ANNNNNNDDDDD

The Casual White Coco Canvas Tote Bag

If I get the chance, I'll upload an outfit photo wearing them. :) Tata!

Because life is a thrill to fly away and balance over the whole madness.

2011-04-14T18:01:00.004+08:00

It's been a while since I cried. I can't stop it. It just keeps on coming. I hate it, but I think I'll be OK after this. I am always OK.

Les seules personnes dont vous avez besoin dans votre vie sont ceux qui ont besoin de vous prouver à la leur.

Im in over my head!

2011-03-27T03:40:00.003+08:00

I think there was a time in my life, when I was a lot younger that I had to pick a path. Naive and so hungry for life -- I chose the roads where I know would give me happiness but I also know deep down in my heart that it would never lasts. I know I am right, but I think that was the point in my life where I spiraled out of control and until now, i could never find my way back again. I never gave time for my mind to actually make a decision, I just had to crash into it and not give it another thought. I think it's been years -- too long -- since I had a breather. To pull my head out of the water and just take a breath. Now, my heart is not into it anymore. It's spreading me thin. I dont know what else i can do. All I know is I need to just move forward. Keep on walking. I dont have to break someone's heart just because mine is.

Felt like sharing a picture of me looking like a nerd :)

2011-03-23T21:35:00.002+08:00

Lights will guide you home.

2011-03-23T04:21:00.004+08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I am writing this while listening to Fix You by Coldplay. Maybe you should read this while listening to it. Im not sure of where to start or to begin. I am not even sure how this will end. All I know is that I feel like writing it. I am also not sure if I am hormonal right now to be feeling so down. I guess, it's the repetition of the actions and the situations that I am always getting myself into these few weeks or days. I cannot remember. All I know is that I am feeling too tired. To feel, to care, to actually make this better. To make myself feel better. I keep thinking that maybe I am just too caught up in my feelings. Do you know that feeling? When you try to cry, but you cant -- because it's just too tiring. Repetitions make things perfect, you get so used to it that you can no longer feel surprised or feel anything at all. Sometimes this can benefit you, but what if it makes you feel like you're hurting all the time. Not even feeling it anymore, but you just feel numb. Like everything doesn't matter anymore. I used to think that whatever I do, I had to do it. It's part of the universe's plan for myself. That I dont have a choice. I just have to embrace it.

I always thought about the things I hold dear. That I believe in. This is what I value most, that "Everything happens for a reason." Even when it doesn't make sense to me now, I always remind myself that there's a bigger picture. I sometimes think of what it feels like to be in someone else's life or shoes. What does it feel like? Everything around me comes to a blur now. It's like I'm running with you, but then you stumble and I have to stop to look over my shoulder and then we'd be running again. I think I've been good. Just a few things that I want for myself. It might not always involve you, but then again -- it's my life. Right? I have a right to live it the way I would want to -- right?

Age plays a very big importance to me. I keep thinking that I might run out of time. To live like it's your last.. Isnt that what it's all about? Being yourself. Doing whatever you want to do. I might sound selfish, but Im not like you. I dont think that it's selfish. No, I dont think that I have to explain my every actions. I dont want to feel like Im smothered. I want to fly. I want to taste life. I want to touch the sky, and fall from that very sky. I want to go up and I want to go down. Why should I carry the emotional burden of someone else? I dont think I am ready for it. Did I make a mistake? i dont think meeting you was a mistake. I think it was a blessing. You're the greatest -- but shouldnt I feel great? I think right now, I feel like there's a big boulder on my shoulder. The weight of it tires me.

Do I feel alive right now? Sometimes. You know what? You can never get everything that you want. I cant help but feel that it's not right. I cannot say it. Im too scared. Is it going to be my biggest mistake? Probably. I love you. It tires me. Just living tires me. Breathing is hard when I try to think about this. Melodramatic? Oh well, that's your oppinion.

I'm tired. I'm always tired. I remember those times in my past where I am in the situation where I am now. Is it any different? I think it is. The person it involves matters. It's different. I will always know it in my heart it's different. Im not sure of what I want to do right now. All I know is that I dont want this.

"Lights will guide you home, and ignites your bones."

Fix me.

Goodnight loves.

Fever?

2011-03-07T10:12:00.003+08:00

Is it worrying if you ALWAYS have pounding headaches? Should I go and see a doctor? Oh funny. I have two in the house, and I am pretty sure they think I am fine. Right now, I think I am sick. Usually it's just a pounding headache and USUALLY I can bear with the pain. Today though, it's excruciating. A higher level of pain than my normal headaches. Not to mention I feel like there's sandpaper in my throat. I dont even know how I contracted this. I mean, I'm pretty healthy. I dont get sick easily. So, now I get a fever? On the week that is supposed to be a very busy week for me? Dang!

*breathe in, breathe out* I am just going to get through this. There's nothing much I can do until this goes away. I took two paracetamol just now. I better get something to eat and then gulp down a couple of dissolved Vit C. That'll help I think. My mom made me drink that stuff since I was younger. Sometimes my fever cant even last a day -- it's gone in a few hours of sleep. Or it'll be gone in a day or two. Really need my health right now. I've never collapsed before, I dont think I would even start now.

Note to self : Drink water -- A LOT.

Breakfast on the couch.

2011-03-05T07:18:00.004+08:00

Yes, I want some breakfast. Refer to pictures above. Mhhhmmm. Wont somebody make me some of these wonderful food for breakfast? You know what, I always imagine eating like this in the morning while reading paper or a book and sipping hot coffee or cold orange juice by the balcony in Paris. In a small 2 bedroom apartment overlooking the streets of Paris. White furnitures and cosy atmosphere. With hair tied up in a bun, wearing an oversized shirt over boyshorts.

Yes, I have a very wild imagination. What? A girl can dream can she? It's not that I want someone that could get me that, I feel like I want it for myself. I want to do it on my own if I can. Maybe I would. One day. You can never know, right? :)

Mhhmm. I miss the smell of coffee. It's been 5 minutes since I ate that spoonful of Manuka Honey. Time for coffee. Bye!

Oh yeah, morning everyone. I hope you start off your Saturday morning with a delicious and healthy breakfast.

Something new!

2011-02-28T07:15:00.002+08:00

You know what I really want? I want to not care about anything that other people say. About me, my life and the things I want to do or am doing. I want to live my life for me. Right now, I have something in mind that I want to do. I'll hold it off until it becomes a reality that I have come to love and are committed to, then I'll post something about it here. All I want is for people to feed on their own negativity instead of pushing them to me. I can be booksmart if I want to. I lack focus and I have a very short attention span, but so what? That's me. Are you perfect? I bet not. If you think you are then, go ahead. Say what you want about me, I dont frigging care.

Let's start something new, shall we?

Burlesque : Premiere

2011-02-08T11:46:00.003+08:00

I have two tickets to the premiere of Burlesque tonight at 9pm at Pavillion. Yeay! Thank you Naquib Zahrim! I've been wanting to see that movie, now I get to see it. It's free seating though, so I better get there before 9pm. I'll be back in Malacca after the movie, so I can work on some music. :)

I'll leave a review of the movie after I see it!

Circuits/Daighila yaw.

2011-02-08T11:04:00.005+08:00

I woke up today feeling a bit nervous, and excited! This weekend I'll be in Tampin for this! *pointing upwards* I'll be with Finger Inc, I havent seen them in a while. Im kind of hating the fact that I dont get to practice with them before the gig, I hope everything will work itself out.

This year I had a few updates from Leman, our drummer about Finger Inc. A friend of ours are interested in taking us under his wings. We're going to have a management, how cool is that? I'm sure it'll work out well considering that the person who's going to handle us is a good friend of ours. I cannot wait to start my tantrums! Haha. Other than that, we're all booked until April. That's rather rare for us. Other than that, we're going to have a split EP with The Pips. Im excited about that, they're awesome. I cannot wait to see what happens with that, best of luck to us aye? Next, is the fact that we're going to get to create more songs! I haven't been making songs for Finger Inc in the longest time! I have a few weeks free to experiment with some music, that is good. If I can get some extra money, I can begin shopping for some mics and stuffs. I think I can manage some after a few months from now, if what I am planning with a friend right now will be successful.

This is the list of the performances that F.I is going to make, just in case anyone wants to know. Or better yet, catch us doing it. I would totally appreciate it!

13 Feb 2011 : Let's Get it On Part II,Tampin.

13 March 2011: Hardcore Mosh Wanted IV, City Plaza, JB

10 April 2011: Konsert D'Selatan

Oh by the way, thinking of cutting my hair. Should I, or shouldnt? :)

Later!

TVD again :)

2011-02-06T02:58:00.003+08:00

This is the gif of Stefan from TVD mouthing the ILY words to Elena. I love that moment where they only had to mouthed the words. They didn't need to tell the world how they love each other. They're just content on knowing that they each know how they love each other. :) I like that.

Update for TVD.

2011-02-05T02:24:00.006+08:00

Watched an amazing episode, I hope next week will be better. Tonight's was all about rivalry between the vampires and werewolves. The nice little twist was about how important friendship is. Damon wanted to not have anything to do with Caroline when she first turned. I was kind of surprised he'd go out of his way to save her. They looked like one tight knit group to me. Though Damon is a loose cannon though, it's hard to really predict him. I guess, Caroline proved she's one hell of a vampire. Too bad Tyler and Caroline won't get to be friends anymore. I really thought that amongst all that chaos, they'd find a way to set an example and show how the history should stay in the past. They should make their own history, where they can all cohabitate together. They were friends in the first place anyway. I get what Stefan was trying to explain to Tyler. He really do wants to have a life there, it's not fair for Tyler to not give him that chance. Eventhough, Damon killed his brother. There was a reason to it. Mason was just not going to stop.

I loved how Stefan came up with the idea for Elena and Bonnie to have a slumber party with Caroline. I think she really needed it. I LOVE the part where Elena and Stefan mouthed to each other 'I love you's. Overall, I think this was a pretty good episode. Next pleasee!

It's TVD time!

2011-02-05T01:13:00.004+08:00

Tell me they dont look amazing. You cant, can you? Because they look --- *smiles*

This is priceless. HAHAHAHAHA! It's so random. I can just imagine them saying it. Edward would probably just bathe under the sunlight just to annoy them. The dialogue suits the characters well. #imjustsaying HAHA, twitter much? :)

Tata!

To have good friends, you have to be one. So what is it going to be? :)

2011-02-04T21:48:00.004+08:00

I think I can relate to that. I have these friends whom I trust with my life. We may lead different lives most of the time and away from each other -- but I can never think of anyone else besides them that I would consider my best friends. We may fight a lot, and for stupid reasons -- most of the time because of how one of us acted, but I think that no matter what we'd still be friends. I think we grew up over the years. Some people might think that by making us fight over trivial matters would make us realize that maybe we're not meant to be friends anymore. That it's the end of the road for our friendships. I know better than they would ever do. Fighting? We've been dealing with that since high school. Im glad that we're all grown up and are better in handling our issues now. I think everyone has an opinion about what I am like and who I really am, but I think even my bestfriends are still trying to figure me out. Personally, I believe that they truly know me and they still choose to be with me. That is pretty much the most important factor to our friendships. To know each other and still be together, that's what real friends are. I am very lucky to have met my bestfriends. I think I've acted my most crazy and out of control with them. The same goes to them. I had the most fun trying to figure out life with them with me. We grew up with each other. They're like my sisters. I dont have any sisters, but with them I know what it feels to have one -- or four? Haha. Other people usually come and go, and for 8 years and counting -- they're the ones who stayed. I cant ask for more. I'd love to say more, but I think for now, this is all I have to write.

In case anyone is wondering? They're my four bestfriends. You guys know who you are. I love you guys. Let's hope that our friendships will remain intact for years to come! And let's tick off that plan we had since ages ago to go on a roadtrip together off our list of what-to-do this year, SOON! I am looking forward to it. Let's make some new traditions and keep the old ones.

Four years can do a lot to a person. :) I think we've had the best childhood together. Remember our phases? We grew up gradually and progressively. Im pretty sure we've learned a lot and discovered a lot of things since the first time we met. We may not get to see each other as often as when we were younger, but I think our bond is stronger than ever. I love how even after months of not talking to each other, we can still pick up the phone and chat normally like we had a conversation just the other night. It's so funny how different we look! Girls -- who would've have thought we'd become more girly or lady-like? We didn't. GAH, I LOVE YOU GIRLS! Larrikins! Hahahaha. *hugs*

Im all SMILES.

2011-02-04T02:03:00.003+08:00

This is what my wallpaper looks like. HAHA. This is so random, I know. Oh well, goodnight people!

Random.

2011-02-04T00:37:00.006+08:00

So I could have these bodies --

One of the things I love :)

2011-02-03T23:45:00.004+08:00

I love specs. Though I never really like to actually wear 'em for 24/7. I need to. My eyes are deteriorating every day that I dont. I dont even wear contacts that has power, and I dont really know why. My vision is baaad, but I'm used to it. I always tell myself that I dont need to wear them as long as I can see a good few feet in front of me. Someone who checked my eyes once told me, that I shouldnt even be driving at night. Yes, it is that bad. Well, lets just say that I dont really listen to people and let them tell me what I can and cannot do.

So -- I am collecting unique looking specs. Most of the time they're really cheap. I've not yet bought one that is above RM20. I think that's a good bargain. I love shopping in Malacca. People sometimes doesnt really know that Malacca has tons of cool stuff that's rather cheap -- OK, sometimes! You just have to know where to look. Im glad Im actually studying there. I can explore all I want. It helps when you have friends that are Malaccans.

Here are two of the ones I love wearing.

I had to miss this one. A friend borrowed it after I just had it for a few days. I didn't get to see it for quite some time. Well, now it's back! Yeayy!

I love this one. A friend of mine pointed it out to me. I didnt waste any time, and got it with a happy smile. I've been wearing it alot since. Some called me 'Grandma'. Call me what you want, I am VERY loving the quirkiness of this one.

Taa!

Exhausted yaw!

2011-02-03T02:14:00.003+08:00

I am frigging exhausted today. -__-"

Im back at home now after a day with Fida Yasin at her sister's new home in Kinrara. I helped her out with some wall painting. Gah, it was so tiring. We had fun though. Thank you Kak Anis for the KFC and Azim for the very disturbing/traumatic day. Haha. He's so much like my boyf that it's not even funny. Thank you to Fida for a wonderful late night dinner and chat. We were trying not to fall asleep while eating at Darussalam. It was fun catching up. I miss my girlfriends. I hope that roadtrip we'd be planning to go on to for years now are finally coming true. Maybe a few months from now? Who knows? Lynn is on a roll with the things she wants to fulfill for her wishlist this year. I guess, it'll happen sometime this year. Hooray!

I am actually trying very hard to not misspell anything and trying very hard to focus on typing. My hands are killing me. Damn youuu @fidayasin! Ok, I just blogged like I am on twitter, and I am not even trying to erase what I just wrote because I'm just going to not be bothered with it. I think whatever mistakes I am making in this post, is justified. :D there are even smilies. Gah. Haha.

Tomorrow I am going to start studying. Buckle down and revise my Legal Methods. *sigh* Yes yes I know. It's important for every lawyer to know the methods for handling legal related matters/issues. Can I just say that my reluctance to start studying is a form of rebellion? Mhhmmm. Ok, maybe not.

I cant type anymore. *throbbing hands* I'll write more later. :) If anyone is reading my blog. Thank youu and I love you guys for trying to learn more about me. *hugs*

I'll leave you with a picture of Paul Wesley because I cannot wait for the new ep of TVD. :) It's coming out tomorrow. Mhhmmmm. I'm liking Thursday!

*drools*

Later!

Proud mama? Nahh. Im a proud friend!

2011-02-02T13:04:00.004+08:00

I am so glad to announce that my bestfriend FINALLY got herself a car. I am so proud for her, and I want to congratulate her on the good news. The good news for me is that, now I wont have to listen to her excuses of not coming to Malacca or KL to meet up! YEAYYY!

The other thing that I cannot wait to do is drive around in her baby. Only after she finally struck up some nerves to drive it herself. Here is my friend, Lynn and her boyfriend in her new car. WOOHOO!

So, for other things. I finally paid my tuition fees. Was supposed to go back to Malacca for a day BUT decided to just fax the payment slip to them instead. Yeah, I was not going to waste the time and energy for it if I had a choice. To shorten the story -- I called for over 10 times to ask about it and at the end, I finally reached the person who was supposed to unbar me. Little did I know, I wasn't barred in the first place? Gah! They told me to check my Student Info Kiosk (which I never do), and actually see that I was never barred because PTPTN already did the honor of paying my damn tuition fees. Yeah, thanks. So much for panicking. So right now I have a negative balance in my account for MMU. That means I dont have to pay for next semester's fees. Yeay? It said that I had paid an advance. Dont flatter yourself, I wouldnt do it deliberately. My mistake. Oh well. On to more pressing matters.

Fida wants to pick me up and dragged me to her sister's new house so that I would help her paint the house. Her words were, "We'd finish faster if you'd help." She's lucky I'm a good friend. And anyway, I would just be lazying around the house watching TV and movies all day long anyway. I guess painting a house can be productive. Let loose of my creative soul. Well -- not exactly. I guess, it doesnt kill me to do something rather than nothing. So here goes, better get ready.

Im feeling quirky today. Time for some geeky moments. :D

Loving life put things into perspective.

2011-02-01T09:59:00.003+08:00

So some updates! The dance competition last month was awesome! There was some disappointments and regrets but I think we were pretty relieved that we placed 2nd. That was such a surprise that all of us cheered and screamed with a shock expression on our faces. Congratulations MATA MMU. :) They posted a video of us dancing in YouTube. I was laughing my ass off when I watched it, because it felt unreal. I can't believe it was me. Oh well.

Right now, I am currently back at home. My whole family is here. My brother is working today though, but he'll be back soon enough. I'm suppose to have dinner with the boyf and some friends tonight. I'm not sure if it's possible now since my dad is home, AND he's not working. It's not that they wont let me go out. It's just -- I guess I feel like hanging out with them. :) If it was me years ago, I didnt even think I would ever feel this way. I guess when you get older, you tend to be more family-orientated. I love my family, they're everything to me. Well, I guess we just have to wait and see. If my brothers go out for dinner, then maybe I'd consider having dinner with my friends. That is if I feel like it. Asraf and Naquib planned to eat at Chillis. Fida said she'd swing by my house tonight. So Im quite happy :)

I made toast for breakfast today. Had a cup of coffee afterwards. I've been eating a lot lately. That's not good. I better slow down. It's rare that Im awake to even have breakfast, let alone make some. So again, today I'm quite happy. :)

Yesterday, I had this obsession for some designer shoes and bags. It felt like I was hyperventilating looking at them. Haha. YSL shoes are gorgeous and I'd love to have one Birkin bag. I love designer items mostly because of the quality.

Im watching NCIS right now with my dad. I think I am going to start revising Legal Methods soon. I promise! I think next semester I am really going to try my best at academics. Smart = Sexy. Am I right or am I right? :)

Later.

New year, happy? :)

2011-01-01T04:31:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

I hope 2011 will bring happiness to everyone and I hope that you'll have a very joyous journey getting through this year. I hope I can find my own happiness and make more dreams happen.

I'm too sleepy. I'll write more later.

Oh yeah, I am going out tmrw with friends. Maybe to Fullhouse and IKEA. See ya! :D

What does not kill you, makes you stronger.

2010-12-29T05:49:00.000+08:00

I feel like writing this up. Nothing personal. Just my own oppinion.

I've asked this myself years ago. How can you change your feelings abruptly? How can you just throw away how you felt towards someone in just a blink of an eye? How do you do that? I have never really known the answer -- until now. It still bugs me how someone can make you love them and then just breaks your heart without even a tiny glance back at all those months, days and minutes that you have spent together. I know that you are hurting, but I love you -- we all do. So please, stop it. Stop putting salt into your wound and let it break you apart. I know it hurts. I feel it when I look at you. It hurts me too, because you are one of my close friends now. We may not have years of friendship, but still we're good friends now. Every time that tear falls down your face, I look away because I don't have any words that you want to hear to make it better. I know you dont want to hear it from me, instead you wait to hear it from him. It's not right, it's not fair, but I need you to be strong and I will hold out my hand to you whenever you need me. Just to make sure you cross this bridge safe and sound.

It's not about who is stalking who, I think that the only thing right now is the truth. The faster you find the truth, the faster you get over it. Im sorry if 'you' feel like this is us making 'you' feel terrible but then again, 'you' are involved. So stop trying to wriggle your way out, and own up to it. Just like you feel like we're not owning up to it. We are, so yeah let's just get this over it. I dont mind.

And YOU, cant you just admit your mistakes and stop trying to make someone else feel that it's their mistakes. In this case, everyone who is involve made their own share of mistakes. Stop trying to look all innocent and nice when you know that you're not. This is not very nice. Why dont you be a man and face this. I hate people that act like it's not their fault and pin the blame on other people. Give her the answers that she deserves to hear. Instead of hiding behind a lie and run away from confrontations. You owe her this much, for making her feel like this.

What makes us strong? Is it the support from our family? Our friends? Our acquaintances? For me, I think it's from within ourselves. If we dont believe in it, then what's the point? There's no end to it if we just nod our head but not actually believing it in our hearts. When you learn to forgive yourselves for our mistakes, and to really learn from our mistakes -- only then we can move on. I always hold onto the thought of 'Everything has it's own reasons'. God doesnt give us more than what we can handle. If it doesnt kill us, then we can find it in ourselves to get through it. Look back and think of all the times that you never really understood why things happen, and think about all of the reasons for it to happen now. We'd find that there's always a reason to everything. It may not be clear as crystal at the time it happened, but years from now, it'll make sense. You just have to live your life to the fullest, even when life kicks you down. You'll learn to let go, and accept things as it is -- because when you least expected it, something better comes along. Don't just wait for it to happen, make it happen. It's liberating, it's refreshing, it's a breath of fresh air.

If he goes around talking shit behind your back, then you should know he's not the one for you. You deserve better. Maybe one day he'll look back and see how cruel he was to you, but don't wait for that day. You got a good 50 years ahead of you to look forward to. With one less useless person in your life. Hey, that's a positive thing right? "Setiap awan ada line kelabunya." HAHAHAHA. :D Positive thinking is the key. When you're positive, then everything feels great. When you can laugh about a simple thing someone says or do, that's the best feeling in the world. When you can throw your head back and laugh as much as you can, nothing can beat that feeling.

Mark Twain quoted, "There is nothing sadder than a young pessimist." We're only in our twenties, we got time to be the best that we can be. Dont worry about people liking you. When you feel good about yourself and you can be the best that you can be, that's more attractive than any beauty can hold.

Im pretty exhausted. Im not sure if I have written all that I can write. Maybe there's more, I'm just too knackered to type them now. So will you please excuse me, I better hit the sack. Sorry for any typos or grammar errors. I frigging hate those.

Goodnight! =_='

A second one? Oh wow.

2010-12-23T14:59:00.002+08:00

Ok, so today I am feeling slightly exhausted and yeah, yeah I know -- it's mostly my fault. I can't face a challenge and just back down. I kicked Math's ass last night. It took me a while because it has been a while since I solved a math's problem. I'm surprised that I got it in the end. When I look at it now.. Naahhhh, it wasn't that hard. It was a piece of RT pastry yummy cake. Easy as an apple crumble pie. God, I feel like my sweet tooth is acting up. I miss Fida's birthday cake. It was DELICIOUS, and note that I capitalize the word? Because it was THAT delish. It was a good thing we stuck to the plan. The plan B was not that bad, since the back up bakery was THE bakery we were actually searching for.

I have dance practices non-stop until next week. O_O' I just hope I can remember all those steps. It's alot and everything is running around in my head, I'm not so sure where it begins and where it ends. Haha. I think I'll practice alone a bit later. Oh, I asked my close friends to drop by Malacca on Christmas hols. I hope they'd come! It would be so much fun. I'd take them to the best foods and then take them to places for some exploring. I haven't even hung out with them here since the day I started studying here. I think Fida came once, and Mye came by, but that's all.

I'm trying not to eat rice for a couple of weeks. I am effing fat! I don't feel comfortable. So, right now I am trying to watch what I eat. Anyway, that's one of the best things about living at home alone. Just like the 'ol times. I can just stop eating and people would never notice. :D I wonder how i got the drive to stop eating when I was 15. I mean, it's so frigging hard! I bet that if I can do it years ago, Im pretty sure i can do it now. I mean, I'm still the same person. Slightly heavier, though. Agh. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Feeling restless and heavy all the time. No, starting from this week, I'm watching what I eat.

P/S : If any of my bestfriends, or family is reading this. I was only joking. OK?

Resolutions? I've been singing about resolutions for a year now, and still I have no resolutions for next year that I haven't made years before and still not achieved. *sigh* I better clean up my act if I want to be someone one day. Starting next week, I am going to have clear goals. If a certain circumstances arise -- then it's safe to say I can hide under the covers for another week, :( Oh well, baby steps.

Bread & cheese again today. That's all. I need a Redbull or Coffee. -_-'

After such a long time.

2010-12-22T16:29:00.003+08:00

Hi, I guess I am like a ghost now. I haven't been updating my blog in ages. I can't remember the last time I even opened it. I'm not sure why I am updating it now, but here I am typing away. So many things happened in the course of my absence. Every single day is filled with something. I guess as I near the end of the year, I feel like updating and looking forward to next year. I guess, you can say that I am trying to start fresh. I feel like things have been slipping away, I hope I can hold on to it long enough before everything falls around me in a mess. Above my head hovers the unmistakable dark cloud. I hope the sun will come out soon.

Right now, I've celebrated tons of birthdays including mine, I've gone through some ups and downs, I've grown tired and restless and I feel like turning a new leaf.

Also, I am currently training for a competition in traditional dance that would be held somewhere in January. I am a nervous wreck. Despite all of the negative energy and the scoldings from the choreographer, I think I am happy with it. I love dancing, and I suck at it. But with training, I hope I'll improve. Even if it is traditional dance. I am not kidding you when I say, the dance is pretty cute. HAHA.

I started tweeting just a few minutes ago, I have 11 followers. Lame right? HAHA. I am so not good in these things. I mean, even people who knows me doesn't give a damn about my life. Oh well, here's to being optimistic. :)

I'll update more when I have the time. I feel like some bread & cheese. Mhhmm.

Thank You

2010-01-12T01:15:00.002+08:00

I just found out that a friend of mine, wrote a poem about Acap and I. I know he'll probably kill me, if I mention this. Thinking that it would make him look gay. Haha. Being in touch with your emotions is not that bad. I think it's a good thing. Thank you for this. It's lovely.

Basically, he wrote it after he saw us together. He said that seeing us made him feel hopeful. Hopeful to find somone, that would make him as happy or happier than us. Well, dear friend, I hope you do find this girl. Best of luck to you.

For Them

Do u see her smiling.
Glowing like raging moon
The moment you stepped into view
Eyes glitter like a seabed of diamonds
Blinding everyone with a shine so bright

You can feel her energy bursting out with fury
So strong that it swept me away
So much that it moves the ones supposedly dead
No one knows if its a gift or a curse
Something so powerful should not be real
Is it obsession or passion?

Its a wonder, a famous untold secret
Things that i only have heard of, always seen.
but never felt so strongly
how i ponder on thinking how lucky you are,
where millions are wishing on stars.
While you have one glowing in your arms.

I once dream of such magnificence
and after awhile i woke up and left it there to rot
But feeling it around me is another
It gives me courage to not surrender
to one day reach up to the misty sky
find my own raging star

By Mr Hamzah Ariffin in his blog .happy days.

Well that's all for now love.

Love, Aqi.

tied in knots

2010-01-10T23:15:00.002+08:00

Im curling like a ball. In pain. So much pain. I hate periods. And I hate those people that says, "It's just a period right?" Screw you. Why dont you give it a try, take this. I dont want it.

Wow. The Javanese massage I had at the Spa must have put some pressure on my uterus. So much for a relaxing day.

My head is throbbing. It feels like exploding. Im breathless. I couldnt even squeaked an answer when my brother asked me a question, trying to keep it together. I swore I felt like fainting. Might have fainted, rather than putting up with this. Ugh.

Feeling nocturnal. Again.

2010-01-10T05:39:00.003+08:00

I cannot sleep. With the finals coming up. And a few things going through my head. I cannot seem to ease my mind and doze off. I am usually this problematic when it comes to sleeping. Drinking the Honey Orange Frappucino didnt really do me any good. I never thought that caffeine could actually keep me awake. It never really did. I'd like to think that it was always my will power, and the mind is a very powerful thing. You can tell yourself that you're in pain, and believe it without a doubt -- and you'll be in pain. Without any physical cause to it.

I've been thinking alot. I think I am mostly lucky in my life. With every mistake that I do, I receive consequences. With every consequences, I receive revelation, ephiphanies. Anything that would lead to my belief that 'Everything happens for a reason'. It always does. No matter how much it hurts or how much I dont want to believe that there's any silver lining to those clouds. I eventually will find something to be optimistic about.

Things havent been looking up. I think I am spiralling again. I dont know. Sometimes I think, I really should be medicated. My state of mind, really does feel like it needs medication. Sometimes, I wonder why I am still considered sane. Because I havent tried killing myself? Or killed someone? How do you really determine someone's soundness of mind. By just observing externally. I once thought that, I'd rather be alone. And having people around me is the only thing that keeps me sane. But having them close, sometimes doesnt make sense to me. I'd rather stay away, then being hurt one day. I dont know if I am that really close to someone. Emotionally,honestly. It's hard. I tend to lock myself away. To not feel. To not care. Sometimes I am not around for people, because I dont expect them to be there for me. It's hard when there's expectations. So I try to limit them when I can. To have good people in your life, you have to be good to people. Logically, it make sense. But even the most vile of person has someone of pure heart in their life. That makes sense too, right?

Why do we fight? Even when we are tired of it. What is there to prove? What is there to gain? It seems like I've been feeling very negative lately. Getting annoyed at everything. And flipping moods 360 degrees in a matter of minutes or hours. It's even hard to keep track of my own self. Of how I am feeling and of what I want. I am a tragic. A waste of space.

I should be trying to get some sleep. Thinking of spending some time in Manja Spa later today. I need something to re-energize my restless body and mind. I cannot wait for the jacuzzi. &&& cannot wait for the dinner in George&Dragon with the whole family. Or TGI Friday. Whichever we pick. Or whoever wins the vote. TGIF is boring. -_-"

&&& I am so happy that Papa is here in JB. And not in KL working. I get to spend the weekend with everyone. *HAPPY!*

Shopping list, anyone?

2010-01-10T02:10:00.003+08:00

I am thinking of buying waaaaaay too many things. Without really buying them. I am such a masochistic shopaholic. And no, I dont mean it sexually. It just means that I have too many things that I want to buy in my head. But I dont have the money or the will to actually buy them. Then, torture myself at thinking about how I reaaaaaaaaaally want to buy them. Oh, it hurts.

I saw these really mouthwatering pair of Lacoste shoes. A friend of mine spotted them before, and I really did like it. I couldnt stop thinking about it. Yes, I even daydream about it. It's not much. Just that it's simple, white with some colourful stripes. It looks -- simple yet very fashionable. I just found out the price just now, when I followed my family to Adidas to search for my brother's shorts. Yeap, it's RM300++. My brother liked them too. Too expensive for my parents' liking though. I thought that this would be a good time to start compromising. Oh well, whether I do get it or not, we'll just wait and see.

I have to buy some gadgets/effects for my band We're Not English. I think there's one that a friend of mine wants to show me. I dont have anything in mind right now as to what I want. I guess I'll just give that a try.

Then, I'd love a Fuji Instax. I've always liked polaroid pictures. I dont know, somehow it just makes a picture more vintage and better to look at. It's expensive, I know. But if it's something you love, wouldnt you invest on it? :)

I havent been to Cotton for ages. Saying that, I think it was a month ago? Haha. I miss it already. I have some money to spend, I hope I get to go to KL soon. Do some little shopping. Right now, Im looking for a very cool high-top. I havent found one that catches my eye. They're all too OTT. Someone once wanted to give me one, identical to his. But I guess, I wasnt that lucky. I lost more than a pair of great high-tops. Im in love with booties nowadays, but cant find the courage to wear one. I am not really a trend follower. I dont even know when a style is in or when it's so last season. I love my Iphone even when some say that they're bored with it and they're so last year. I love vintage pieces. I dont even care if I'm wearing an old Estee Lauder handbag that I found in a bundle for RM5. It's still wearable to me. Black,practical and gold finishings for zippers. I love it.

So who cares right? As long as we're happy with what we have. :D

I'll write more later.

Love, Aqi

P/S : Get well soon Muhammad Asraf. I love you.

FOTO FOTO!

2010-01-10T01:36:00.015+08:00

The BBQ at Ema's place on New Year's Eve

Photos from JOHO event. Credit to Lalan Rahiman.

Wearing United Invasion for Rebirth

Check out the Rebirth online store here!
And check out the JOHO official blog for more info on what's so amazing about it here!

So, what's for New Year?

2010-01-09T19:04:00.002+08:00

Ok, I havent been around. && I missed the posting for new year. I had a great one. This year it was all about the BBQ at Ema's and the JOHO event that was pretty much amazing. It was nice to meet up with friends that I dont get to always hang out with. It's been a while.

So first off, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I cant really say that I have some resolutions tucked into my backpocket somewhere. All I can say is, this year. I will try to change some things. I'd like to try to make it less routine as possible. Hey, who wants the same things as last year, right? This year will probably be really different from last year. With or without any help from me. I hope it's better. Last year was too much drama. Like that's ever going to change. EVERY year is filled with some kind of drama. Oh! I have only one resolution I guess. I think that I have this resolution for years now. It's the I-want-to-be-more-skinny resolution. No surprise there. My obsession that I just cant really obsess much about. :P

The BBQ at Ema's was wonderful. I reached her house a bit late though. Wanted to surprised her, and I did get to do that. She was pretty surprised. Most of her close friends was there. Was supposed to go to the Curve with Asraf and his friends. I've never celebrated New Year there before. Call me lame, but I just hate the crowd. I'll just suffocate in one. Maybe, I'll try it one day. Asraf followed me to Ema's house. Where I spent much time with one of my bestfriend Fida and another friend of mine, Hamzah. I had this photo taken from Zaha's Instax, of Asraf and I. I love it. I have it specially placed inside my wallet. You cant have a purse without that little space where you can put in pictures. Ok, you're really suppose to put in your ID card there I guess. But I call mine, the wall of fame. Just that, this new purse of mine is not big on the wall of fame. So I can only put in one photo. I chose that one. I'll upload the picture later. Took another one with all the ladies, for Zaha's to keep. HAHA. I'm thinking of buying one for myself. I am a sucker for polaroid photos. I think I am going to collect Instax from now on! I even bought myself a new top for the BBQ. I had my eye on it for quiet a while now. It's chiffon with a very colourful and bright design. But I had to wear a Cardi with it, since it's a bit too revealing. Asraf would give me the look of are-you-serious if I wore it just like that. Yes, my very conservative 18 year old boyfriend. The food at the BBQ was delicious. All thanks to Mr Hamzah Ariffin. The entertainment by Mr Aimen Mike Xavier was also amazing. We had fun with the chiptunes stuff. While Ema kept spelling her name into her song that Aimen turned into a very cool tune. We did the countdown and opened a bottle of Sparkling. Oh, very New York of us right? Haha. I had the most amazing pie. Seriously, it was all whipped cream I guess. Simply delicious. It was light, it was sweet and it had strawberries. YUMMY! Thank you Zaha for letting me eat most of it. :D

Then it was off to the JOHO event held at Roost Bistro. Yes, this is all very tiring for me. I am here one minute and there in another minute. I reached the place around 8pm. I came in with Asraf to see that the guys are all having their soundcheck. Lynn was nowhere to be seen. So we did the soundcheck before going out to check out the whole place. The place was kinda small. You cant really fit the whole crowd inside. So some had to stand outside or something. Outside was filled with people. There were people selling Cupcakes, others were selling clothes and stuff. Rebirth, my favourite bundle was there. Selling some pretty cool shirts. Which I had the honour of wearing for a promo for Rebirth at the store. It was pretty fun. I got to meet alot of my friends. Most I havent seen in a very long time. Great bands was going to perform. There were us (Finger Inc), Laila, Ziller and the Klasik Ikan Keli, Statik, and last but not least, The Plague of Happiness. There were also poems by poets Feroz Omar and John D Madman. The night was going strong by the minute. They parked this blue VW Van outside in front of the Bistro, and there was this banner of SPAM and JOHO logo on it. It was like this red carpet event where there were photogs snapping pictures as people stand in front of the banner. It was something new, and it was pretty cool. I wanted Asraf to take a picture of me standing there, but I didnt think that someone would actually call my name to stand there and take pictures. HAHAHAHA. OK, it was my friend Yus who is one of the organizers, but dont bust my bubble. It was pretty cool ok! So we took individual photos where we had to hold this sign that spelled out JOHO boldly on it. So I took some pictures with Asraff, Lynn and Apis. Then one with Lynn and Yus. After a while, they called for a band photo. Im still waiting for the photos. They havent uploaded it yet. So after that night, I went out for a late dinner and brought Asraf to Straitsview road. He was really excited to see the Sultan's place. It's huge,yeah.

So the whole weekend was then turned into a tour of JB for Asraf. It was fun driving him around JB. So that he can see the places I usually go with my friends. And the places I dine in. I love the food here. I miss it all the time. :D

Im pretty exhausted. I'll upload some pictures later.

Love, Aqi.

revival.

2009-11-04T19:15:00.002+08:00

I havent been writing since before my birthday, and that was on 15th October. I've told myself a few times that I would finally sit down and write again. Well, I havent.

This is my first post after an interval.

"Sometimes you make me tick like a timebomb."

So, just breathe. It's a brand new day.

2009-10-14T03:55:00.002+08:00

You're relieved.

I am too, finally relieved.

For every endings, comes a new beginning.

So, we can breathe. Breathe easy. Let's just take it all in, and breathe.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Losing sight.

2009-10-14T02:25:00.003+08:00

A guilty pleasure,

Vanilla coke.

&& I am hungry. I feel like nuggets, but I am too lazy to fry some.

----------------------------------------------------------

I found out today where I am going to be when the clock strikes 00:00am on 15th of October. I will be in a studio, in a place called Mamba with -- maybe five guys, practicing. So much for turning 21. Oh well, at least I am doing something. Rather than sitting at home. At least I get to spend it with those people. Even if they dont know it's my birthday.

And a friend is offering to lend me his guitar for Ara Fest. :) "Alaaaa, awat hang baik hati bebeno niiii!" But I think, I should at least give it a try first. I want to be prepared. Thanks ya Dollah. :D "Aku akan promotekan hang punya guitar."

No one is at home, so it's just me. Lily and Adlin asked me to come to their house, but I am dead tired. So I think I'll just see them before class tomorrow. I hope I wake up earlier than what I am used to. It's making me feel lazy, and lethargic. So no more slacking off! && trying to look forward to better practices until the big day.

&& I now have no expectations for my birthday. Oh, whatever. What am I? Nine? Then again.. *stomps feet*

Until the next post ya!

Love, Aqi.

You make my eyes bright, dear.

2009-10-13T14:31:00.006+08:00

I havent been posting much, because I didnt feel like I had the time. Even though, I had all the time in the world to post at least 2 new ones. Let me tell you why. My time was occupied by that incredible boy, who made my heart skipped a beat on Sunday night. A very tiring and late night. Let me refresh my mind, to write it, makes it feel so very real. Because I still dont believe it happened.

I reached my home in Malacca a little too late. Since, I didnt feel like going back to nothing when I was still in JB. I helped Lynn with her guitar strings and listened to songs that she was trying to finish. We still havent made any new ones since the beginning of the year, I think. She was determined to finish at least two, so that we have at least five of our own songs. Ok, moving on.

I drove to Malacca with a heavy heart. When you're driving towards nothing in particular, where you're not even sure if there's anything to look forward to -- it felt lonely. Even pathetic, maybe. Acap kept texting, asking and nagging and making me feel very annoyed. But he was a good liar. He said, "I miss you." And I answered, "So? What are you going to do about it?"

He said it hurted him to read my text. I felt guilty for making him feel guilty. But, I didnt say anything. I kept on driving. When I passed the tol, I texted him. He thought that I have already reached my place. I laughed when he texted saying, "Ingatkan you dah sampai. You kan drive mcm maniac." Well baby, "I am not a rocket."

After getting McNuggets from McDonald's drive-thru, I continued on the lonely journey back home. When I reached UV, I carried all my bags up -- and they were super heavy! I had like two plastic bags, one stuffed duffel bag, a backpack, my guitar and last but not least, my handbag. Halfway on the lift, it felt like I'm carrying a ton. But I managed! Well I thought that was it, but then I realized I forgot my nuggets. -_-" I had to go down and get it. I might as well have divided the load, and had two lighter trips. Rather than one heavy load, and another one that consist of me carrying only one plastic bag, that doesnt even reach 1kg.

So then I was up in my room with the laptop on and me eating some nuggets. While checking Acap's fb, since he wanted me to see the new photos he uploaded. I couldnt find any. When he texted me to call him because it was urgent, I contemplated about it. He's always saying things are urgent. When I do call him, I find out that he only wanted to say hi. That's Muhammad Asraf for you. Being serious is so not him, so he says. I waited for a while before picking up the phone and speed-dialing his number. So here it is!

When I called he asked me what I was doing and stuff. So I talked to him normally, without any suspicions. Well, I should have suspected something was off -- with his constant questionings on my whereabouts. I thought he was playing around when he said that he doesnt have anywhere to go that night. I was worried since I thought he was somewhere in KL, and in trouble. And he said it so-oh innocently. Then he asked me to open the front door for him. I didnt believe him, since I dont want to be pranked. And he's always playing tricks, I didnt think that this boy, a 17++ year old boy, would even have it in him to pull this off. I opened the door, for a second and then shut it close because he was not there. I was mad at him for playing around. Then he said it again, to open the door. I did -- and there he was.

I stood there laughing. I could not believe my eyes. I thought I was dreaming, since I really wanted him to be there. To be standing in front of me. You know, I've always wished someone was in front of me. When I needed him to be there the most, but it never came true. But this -- he was actually there, smiling that smile of his. I felt like smacking him! I opened the front door gate, and he hugged me. I hugged him back -- very tightly. Like I said, I REALLY wanted him to be in front of me at the time, and he was. I dont know why, but I was so happy.. that even unexpected tears started to roll down my cheeks. I was so embarrassed I didnt feel like letting go until it dried up. He pulled away for a bit, and kissed my forehead. Boy, consider yourself growing up. Haha. I felt like I'm the little girl instead of you being the younger one.

Thank you for everything. You always say, "Mesti you sayang I gila kan right now?" and "You're so lucky to have me kan?" I know I always shrug you off. Well, I do love you. My heart is overflowing with love for you. And am I lucky? :) I hope I am. && Lets make this work, ok?

This Thursday is my birthday, and Friday will be Acap's. Our first birthday together. I dont know what will happen. I hope, good things. Even if it's not on time.

Note : There was a time when I was with you that I unconsciously smiled. It's because -- Do you remember that song I sang. Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life. The lyrics went like this, "Remember the time you drove all night. Just to meet me in the morning." That's what you did, and it's so funny how it actually happened. I couldnt help but to -- smile.

Until the next one!

Love, Aqi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sailing the seas.

2009-10-13T03:43:00.003+08:00

All my life, I've been trying to be the person that everyone wants me to be. Maybe, that's why I think I'm so screwed up.

Now, I'm trying to find myself. I still hope that with that, the people that love me now, will still love me. I have been blessed with some great things. But, my life isnt over yet. There are still unchartered oceans I havent plunged into. I hope in time, I will get to.

So with that, I think Im going to sleep. With a smile on my face, and a twinkle in my eyes.

So until the next one.

Love, Aqi.

P/S : I love you Muhammad Asraf. Im not getting tired of saying this, yet. Well I hope -- Never.

That little piece that's missing.

2009-10-11T14:27:00.002+08:00

I hate being judged, and I dont take judgements well. As far as I am concern, I am not concerned at all of other people. My concerns are only towards me. I guess I can be called self-absorbed by some. But my values doesnt put me into that category as easy as one can say it. Ignorant.

I take failures fairly well when I have to. I dont see why I have to dwell on things that have already happened. No way of changing the outcome, so why bother trying to change the past when you can change the future. Something you have a chance on, rather than grasping for something that is not there anymore.

I am going back to Malacca in an hour or so. Or maybe more. It's already 2 hours past noon. I better go. My mood swings are swinging towards the negative part. And when I was so excited that things was so positive last night. Snap out of it, Aqi. You know better than to screw up.

Until the next one.

Love, Aqi. More or less.

Set it up!

2009-10-11T02:36:00.005+08:00

I dont know. There must be something in the water, because I'm feeling so much better. Priorities have changed. Not for the bad I hope. I guess, Im trying to be more optimistic and positive about things. Thinking that, maybe if I am an optimist, then my outcomes are optimistic. I feel like, all of this time -- I've been drowning myself with unnecessary thoughts that plagues my mind. I've been feeding my negative thoughts until I'm so burnt out. Until I have no energy left for me to revive myself. To feel happy again.

"Im sick and tired of being sick and tired."

-Fannie Lou Hamer

So, here I am. Trying to re-organize my life. What comes first, and what I have to do to fulfill myself. Right now, there are so many things running inside my head. It's a wonder how I can even stop to write all this. I cannot believe that I am pretty excited to start things new again. I think, there were so many things that is so inconclusive in my life, it's like all this while -- I was hitting on the brakes. Putting my life on hold. Now -- I think I should have known any better that by putting it on hold, I could never truly enjoy the beautiful moments I am making today, tomorrow and the days to come. Im glad that today, my life is put into perspective. So I can see how much I am missing if I dont cherish every moment that I have.

Im supposed to sleep. Im supposed to wake up early tomorrow to run some errands and then go back to Malacca. I think Liyana and Adlin is already in Malacca. Liyana said something about Yassin recitings since their house have been problematic lately. I dont think my housemate is home. I think she's gone to some wedding in KL. That, or she's back in JB. So I'll probably be alone in the house. :( Sheesh. It'll be really lonely. *Sigh*

&&& Yes, I know baby. You're amazed by me. HAHA! Love you. Thanks for reading -- Well, at least you open it. Even if you skim my blog just to read the things I write about you. *rolling eyes*

Oh well, until the next post!

Love, Aqi.

sleep, maybe?

2009-10-10T23:45:00.002+08:00

Just got back from Spa Manja, and feeling more and more revived than ever. That jacuzzi -- let's just say, it made my day. Im definitely going there again. Well, for something else. I feel like trying their other treatments.

The last bit was what caught my interest. They did Ear Candling. I never really thought about it much before. It wasnt that bad. I could hear the sound of burning. And they were pressing the pressure points on my face. All in all, it was a good experience. :) If I am not mistaken, I am suppose to rest now. I hope this will help me with my nocturnal behaviour these couple of days. I need to reset my biology clock for my class at 8am this coming Monday.

&&& I am missing alot of people nowadays. :(

Until the next one!

Love, Aqi.

you're my rainbow after the rain, love !

2009-10-10T03:22:00.004+08:00

Not feeling very well. Having a hard time sleeping, very nocturnal nowadays. Not good. Since I have a morning class on Monday. And it's supposedly Basic Accounting for Lawyers. Im beaming with happiness.. NOT. Liyana called, and we talked about that. How it's so irrelevant to us that we have to take Computer Application and Basic Accounting. But I guess, it's irrelevant now. I dont know, maybe it'll help us in a few years from now. Maybe. Everything has their reasons, right? Keep that in mind, Aqi.

I made myself a cup of Chamomile tea and some instant Chicken Soup. The tea was supposed to be soothing. To help me calm my nerves and feel sleepy. Chamomile as I've read, have a few benefits. Such as,

Insomnia and other sleep disorders
Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Muscle twitches
Wounds, burns, and scrapes
Skin conditions such as psoriasis, eczema, chickenpox, and diaper rash
Stomach problems such as menstrual cramps, stomach flu, and ulcers

I usually make some when I am under a lot of stress or when I feel like I need something to make me relax. Just the smell of it can loosen my muscles up. It's soothing. I used to have an aromatherapy oil that is Chamomile scented. Im easily stressed. It's either Chamomile or Lavender for me. You can try drinking some. I usually add Manuka honey instead of sugar. Manuka honey also has alot of health benefits. I am too lazy to type or copy all of them because there's so many. You can read it here!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I was lazing around in the living room watching True Blood, when Acap called. Telling me that he's finally home. He was mad that there's pizza when he's already full. I bet you ate a lot at your dad's kopitiam. :P After another phone call, he said he'd send me a goodnight text before hitting the sack. I waited for it, and not too long after that -- it came. Hooray. Oh my....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Im laughing my ass off from your stupid txt. And you even asked me if it was cute. It was so adorable, I cant stop smiling. Yes, you're frigging adorable. And I hate it that you know it. Im sorry I cant reply, but there'll be other goodnight messages from me. :) Tonight, it's just you. If you're reading this -- which I doubt that you are, since you dont really like reading -- then, goodnight love.

&&& I'd so hate you if you're going to Ahmad Dhani's open house with Popo. *sulk*

Until the next one!

Lovelovelovelove, Aqi.

Gossip Girl is turning me into someone who is more insomniac!

2009-10-10T00:16:00.005+08:00

The Goodbye Gossip Girl Episode ; Season 2 Episode 25.

:O

I CANNOT STOP WATCHING IT. The ending is super sweet. I love Chuck. :D

&& the clothes for season 2 --they look oh so amazing!-- was superb. If you're not using them anymore, send them to my wardrobe will you? :) I hope that season 3 will bring more interesting plots and fashion.

Until the next one!

Love, Aqi.

tired tired tired !

2009-10-09T22:35:00.003+08:00

People are simply not trustworthy. People CANNOT be trusted. Ok, I better add that SOME people are not to be trusted. Im pissed off. If I am a lawyer now, I'd find something to sue your ass off.

Moving on, I was out with Mama to George & Dragon for their best Sirloin Blackpepper Steak, with US Russet Baked Potato. Delicious, simply delicious. With Chuck Berry singing Johnny B. Goode in the background. What more can I ask for? We talked about some things that are happening, and some of the things I just found out about -- isnt exactly something that was easy on the ears. But, I know for a fact that papa is a superdad, -- if not a Google when he's at home, since he's the only one who can find things in this house -- he can manage through. I hope I can be more of assistance.

It's another few days until I'm off to Malacca. The hols are finishing, and it was a quick one. I dont think I did much. Just that I laze around and stayed in since I'm not feeling that well. Headaches are a bitch. Remind me to go and get my Malaysian Studies and Islamic Studies certificate from UCSI, so that I can do a credit transfer. I'd hate to take those subjects again. Tomorrow is the appointment with Spa Manja. I cannot wait for the Signature Detox Massage. Im taking the Celebrity Treatment. It consist of : Aroma Eye Treatment, Steam, Jacuzzi, -- this is what I'm talking about! -- Foot Soak, Boreh Scrub, the massage, and last but not least the Ear candling.

I think there's another one in the heart of KL. I remember wanting to book Mama a spa in KL, on Mother's Day. But couldnt because she was too busy and cant come to KL. Oh well, at least tomorrow we can enjoy a mother and daughter spa together. Weehoo!

Here's the info if you ever want to try it out,

This is the one in JB :

Spa Manja
162 Jalan Dato Sulaiman,
Century Garden,
80250 Johor Bahru, Malaysia.
To contact : 017 777 3393 / 07 3333 111
spa@spamanja.com
Operating Hours : 11am - 11pm
Call for appointment.
Gentleman and Ladies are welcomed.

Here is the website for further information, www.spamanja.com .

I need to relieve my tired muscles and relax.

Until the next post!

Love, Aqi.

.Another Chapter And Page.

2009-10-09T17:59:00.005+08:00

I love how you're always trying to get my attention ; I love your lame jokes ; I love how you love making me laugh ; I love how you always look at me with that look of yours ; I love how your hand fits in mine ; I love how your smile sends shivers down my spine ; I love how your laughs lift my mood ; I love how you answer me when I call for you ; I love how you glance back and answered knowingly I didnt really have anything to say, but you said "yes?" anyway ; I love how you're not annoyed that I am trying my best to annoy you ; I love it when you love the things that I do for you, without me realizing im doing anything at all ; I love your bear-hugs! ; I love how you're trying to grow up for me, but failing miserably ; there are a million other things that I could write, and it would take days. So this is it --- for now. :)

I first saw you in the hall, with our different coloured painted faces. You were in the Red team, and I was in the Blue team. When we did our cheer you got up -- the only person in your team that stood up --, looked over and said, "Whateverrr." Seriously I could have smacked your head at that time. I called you The Whatever Guy, and I disliked you from then on. I looked at you as a spoilt kid, you looked like one anyway. I dismissed you, and moved on with my life. We even went to the same after-orientation-night thingy, but we didnt even realized each other. I left early. Then when classes started, I only had friends that are not in the same course as me. One invited me to lunch, and I accepted. Supposedly I was suppose to meet her earlier that day, but I was too busy. I was sleeping and I was grouchy, but I went anyway because I had a class to go to after the meet. And there, I met you again. How convenient.. You were sitting right across from me. I wasnt in the mood, so I reluctantly answered your questions. You asked for my number, I asked what it was for -- and you answered, "So if there's anything, it's easier to contact." So that was it. You texted me that night, but I ignored you. Then we met up for movies and some sight-seeing that night. I was the odd one out. So I kept mostly to myself. You sent me back home I think. It was very sweet of you. It's a gesture I'd have to say, no one has ever shown to me before.

It was your first time riding the bus back to KL. You were with our friends and you werent too happy about it. When you boarded the bus, it happened so quick that there wasnt much time to say goodbye. You sent a text that was not supposed to be read by me, you were telling our friend that if she brought me to see some other guys then she'll be in trouble. *laughs*

Since then, things have changed alot. Progressed, as some might say. There were some ups and downs. You told me you loved me, and asked me to say it back. But I wouldnt, and you said you'd wait. Something tragic happened, you had to go back to KJ. We were in the car, in front of Ixora. You were sad. I told you to take care of yourself, and you told me to do the same thing. Before you opened the car-door and walked away, you kissed my cheek. It was so sudden. I didnt react. I just sat there. I looked at you, but you're already walking away. So,I drove back home.

The first time I said I loved you -- was something that I didnt plan. It was supposed to be well-planned. Even if I was falling for you, I didnt want to immediately say it. I wanted to wait. But it happened anyway. Still, it is a beautiful memory. You drove back to Ixora, and I was eating ice cream. We changed seats and you were waiting for me to finish my ice cream before going out of the car. I said it was OK, as I was finishing it anyway. You said, "Bye, I love you " and opened the passenger's seat door. Without realizing it, I answered "Bye, love you." I didnt even realized it until you shut the door closed and stared at me in disbelief. I hid my face as I rested my head on the steering wheel, I couldnt even look at you. I did not believe I just said it. So un-romantic of me! You opened the door again and said it again, I think hoping that I would answer you again. But I didnt, and so you walked away. I received a text from you that says, "You what??" I said nothing. And that was that.

I still remember this particular day like it was yesterday. I had dance practice, and you were suppose to come. You texted saying that you were tired from the soccer game, so you're not coming. I was disappointed, but I understood. Adlin and Liyana wanted to borrow the car, so I passed them the carkeys. After the practice finished, I tried contacting you, but you werent answering my calls and you werent replying my texts. I got annoyed, since we always go to dinner after my practices. And everyone seems to have plans, so I was alone. I walked out of the Block B building to find my car, since Adlin texted me saying that they're already waiting. I was still waiting for you to answer my call when I spotted the familiar Blue Kelisa parked nearby. I expected for the girls to come out, but there you were standing with a pink shirt. A rose in hand and a big smile plastered on your face. I was in your grey hoodie and a cap and definitely messy. I hated you for picking that moment to be all romantic. HAHA. Couldnt you pick some other time when I look more decent? Ok, moving on.

I shouted something while walking towards you, but halted when I saw the rose and when it sunk in that you were going to propose. I laughed and told you I wasnt going to come any closer. You waited patiently until I did. I was standing in front of you when you handed me a little card that says Love Bug in front of it, with a picture of a ladybug. Inside you wrote "Fatin Aqilah, will you be my girlfriend?" The only reaction I could give to you at those times was laughing. Sorry, I laugh when I cannot think of what other thing to do. I said, "No," and pretended to walk away. You made a face, and I stayed. You asked me again, and I told you, "Of course." You went down on one knee and handed me the rose. You opened the passenger door and we drove back home. I got ready as you waited and we went for a late dinner since practice always ends around 10pm. You brought me to D'Pelican, you asked me if I know why. But I didnt. You said it was because there was a time when we went there before a movie and you were upset because I told a friend that I wasnt that interested in you. You said you really liked me at the time but I didnt feel the same way, so since then you promised yourself that you'd try your best to win my heart. And when you finally did, to pay tribute to that day, you brought me there for our first dinner together as a couple. You paid for dinner, even when I insisted on going Dutch. :) Then we were off to McD for ice creams. That was like our late night ritual, we'd hang out at McD. Just us. It was like our secret place. Haha!

Muhammad Asraf, I love you. I will learn to love you more and more for the days to come. It's a long journey, so walk with me.

So, until the next post.

Love, Aqi.